Day: January 9, 2014

Still searching through the ruins of my mind

For a semblance of order amongst the chaos

Trying, in my deepest, darkest thoughts

To perceive the slightest glimpse of daylight

This is the most absurd I think I’ve ever felt

Grappling through the pitch blackness

Searching for my sanity within the dank cave

Having crept under the ‘Do Not Enter’ sign

My own fault; my own fault, of course

Always, my own fault; all my life I’ve been told

It’s my own fault, and sometimes I have to

Reluctantly agree, not to disagree

I chose to step through the No-Go warning

Stepping out onto the railway track

Without first looking to see if there is a train

Hurtling towards me, not caring much of the outcome

I am still no further on into making any headway

Through the monochrome and the gloom

And sometimes forget that I am delving into

The very inkiness which resides in my brain

Wondering whether this will be the place of my demise

My mind, in a fit of madness, has engulfed itself

And there on my gravestone will be etched

‘It was her own fault’: ‘We always told her so’.

 

Hey little one! You have nothing to fear

I’m your angel of caring; can you see?

If you look in my eyes, there’ll only be love

So you see little one; don’t be frightened of me

 

It’s a fact, mum and dad, they never got on

It’s a wonder that you were conceived

They showed you no love, just used and abused

It’s a crime that they both disbelieve

 

I keep you, precious child; safe in my heart

And I see all your hurt, shame and pain

And I see all the beauty that you have inside

And I won’t let them hurt you again

 

Hey little girl! It was never your fault

You have done absolutely no wrong

You were harmed by people you thought could trust

Because the perverts then came along

 

But don’t cry little babe; you are safe in my arms

I’ll care for you forever more

You are loved, sweetheart; you weren’t black as coal

And you were not an infant whore

 

It’s safe, pretty one, to come out of your shell

Of your prison within a high wall

Climb up high, hold on tight and don’t be afraid

You can always give me a call.

 

I’m your friend, sent from heaven, my precious child

To stay by your side, all the time

And I will protect you and not let you down

Please believe me, it’s ok to climb

 

Out of your pit, when you’re ready, I’ll wait

For even a thousand years

I have plenty of tissues if you need a good cry

To mop up a million tears

 

Live your life for today, as yesterday’s gone

Who knows what tomorrow will bring

Live life for the moment, each second, right now

Your soul is awakening

 

An angel in your pocket, I’ll be

No harsh rules am I stipulating

And if you feel upset, scared, alone

This angel in your pocket is waiting.