Still searching through the ruins of my mind
For a semblance of order amongst the chaos
Trying, in my deepest, darkest thoughts
To perceive the slightest glimpse of daylight
This is the most absurd I think I’ve ever felt
Grappling through the pitch blackness
Searching for my sanity within the dank cave
Having crept under the ‘Do Not Enter’ sign
My own fault; my own fault, of course
Always, my own fault; all my life I’ve been told
It’s my own fault, and sometimes I have to
Reluctantly agree, not to disagree
I chose to step through the No-Go warning
Stepping out onto the railway track
Without first looking to see if there is a train
Hurtling towards me, not caring much of the outcome
I am still no further on into making any headway
Through the monochrome and the gloom
And sometimes forget that I am delving into
The very inkiness which resides in my brain
Wondering whether this will be the place of my demise
My mind, in a fit of madness, has engulfed itself
And there on my gravestone will be etched
‘It was her own fault’: ‘We always told her so’.
Essentially Ellie 
“As I lay me down to sleep I Dear Lord for you to keep my mind, body and soul. For all there is to know you know so make provision Lord God based on what you know. Keep me safe and wrapped tightly in your arms: safe from all danger and harm. Calm every storm, wind and gave keep my feet from the grave; only when it’s my time to go; take me Lord for only you know. Put fire in my heart for you and your word; continue to be my inspiration, my guide and my light. Direct my footsteps Lord day and night. If I fall pick me up, when I’m weak fill my cup; have mercy on my dear soul if I’m naked be my clothes; when I’m hungry feed my Lord. Let every need be met from shelter, clothes, water, transportation and everything in between. Use my talents to prove an income and to labor for your kingdom. Bless every endeavor and give me new insight daily. In your hands we commit our every concern and trust you to do as you will.” (Tim Wright)