Black Dog

black dog2

 

The Black Dog, Sir Winston Churchill called it….Depression that is. Today is a bad day. The black dog has taken up residence in my brain and i want nothing more than it to go away. But that’s what Bipolar does for you….it does you no favours and grants you no peace. How much longer must i suffer like this? I’m not nice to be around as i can barely string two words together. I pray for the light at the end of the tunnel to reappear as it has disappeared out of view all together and all that is left of me is the black.

BLACK DOG

I would love to tell you that I’m different, special
But I cannot lie
I am screaming silently
Being trodden into the soil

I want to show you that I’m perfect
But shame prevents me
And scars say otherwise
A heart, left loving, and hating

I await the appearance of the black dog
An axe chopping at a tall tree
Timber falling
Like my mood

I can’t talk; thoughts choking my throat
I hear the whispers in the air, “whore, whore”
Fear masquerading as love
The clouds always bruise the sky

“As I lay me down to sleep I Dear Lord for you to keep my mind, body and soul. For all there is to know you know so make provision Lord God based on what you know. Keep me safe and wrapped tightly in your arms: safe from all danger and harm. Calm every storm, wind and gave keep my feet from the grave; only when it’s my time to go; take me Lord for only you know. Put fire in my heart for you and your word; continue to be my inspiration, my guide and my light. Direct my footsteps Lord day and night. If I fall pick me up, when I’m weak fill my cup; have mercy on my dear soul if I’m naked be my clothes; when I’m hungry feed my Lord. Let every need be met from shelter, clothes, water, transportation and everything in between. Use my talents to prove an income and to labor for your kingdom. Bless every endeavor and give me new insight daily. In your hands we commit our every concern and trust you to do as you will.” (Tim Wright)

 

Author: Ellie Thompson

Writing my memoirs, musings, a little fiction and a lot of poetry as a way of exploring and making the most of my life ... ... Having had a break from writing my blog for more than three years, I decided to return to write my memoirs, some day-to-day observations, views and feelings. My passion is non-fiction poetry. I have a disability and use an electric powerchair called Alfie and let nothing get in the way of living life to the full. I believe that you can never do a kindness too soon and should give credit where credit is due. A smile or a kind word could make the difference between a good or bad day for a person - we never know what's going on for another soul. Those little things, perhaps, practised daily like a mantra, could mean so much to someone else. Thank you for visiting my blog and reading a little more about me. Please, make yourself at home here. You are very welcome. Ellie x 😊

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