There’s so much in my head tonight. There’s so many blogs whizzing round my head, begging to be written. My head is full of words, images. confusion, ideas, compassion and endless chatter.
I want to write about my hypervigilance which makes me feel mad and paranoid; my stormy relationship with my ex-husband; about an abusive relationship that went pear-shaped recently (not that i care now); i want to write about my relationship with my previous therapist which was unhealthily co-dependant and stuffed full of transference issues (which ended it all, very painfully); my god-awful stays in psychiatric hospital (which ‘officially’ makes me mad/insane). I need to write more about my abuse (there’s still so much of it in my head, crying to get out); I am completely and emotionally wiped out.
I’ve got so much going on in my head, the confusion is unbearable! STOP THE WORLD, I WANNA GET OFF! I’m physically, mentally and emotionally fucked! I’ve managed to make one sensible decision at least tonight and that is i am gonna leave you, my blogging buddies, at least for today and I AM GOING TO BED! X
Essentially Ellie 