Day: March 15, 2014

TITANIUM

I said in my last blog that i didn’t feel safe blogging again after that incident where that pervert, that sick-minded individual, that internet warrior, left a disgusting and insulting comment on my page referring to my horrific rape. On reflection, i decided i was not going to let that idiot shoot me down with his depraved words because i will get up and speak my mind! This YouTube video, Titanium, sums up my feelings exactly!

To that pathetic person, i say “Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never harm me”. So….I’ve decided to stand strong and continue to write freely. I have spent my entire life being silenced and i don’t intend to spend any more years in the same way. I will speak out and stand up for myself. I will not be knocked down by mere words. I AM TITANIUM!

Although i currently have some family problems in my personal life, I’m going to keep on moving in the direction that I want to go. I will not be pushed into the corner like a frightened rabbit and be silenced again. If anything, this incident has made me angry, very angry (not an emotion i am familiar with). I will not be constrained and no longer tied by chains. I am an angry but strong woman. I AM TITANIUM!

Image

BLOGGING GATE-CRASHER

Because of my recent intrusion by that sick, unwanted gate-crasher to my site, i no longer feel safe to speak my mind. I am holding back all my hurts, all of my pain, for fear of being ridiculed again. I no longer feel free to speak, to express myself, to write, create in public, even in this ‘safe’ blogging world. Do i stop putting pen to paper, scared to put one foot in front of the other?

Do i hide myself away in the cupboard in have spent my life in, confined, silenced, dumb? I feel like a prisoner behind bars and someone has thrown the key away. I am shut away like a criminal, never to be free to speak my mind again. I am trapped in my silent world.

Image

All because of ‘him’….the stealthy intruder, my skulking, uninvited guest.. Another ‘him’, like all the other ‘hims’ who have hurt me my entire life. I know i shouldn’t generalize but considering where i’ve been, it’s difficult not to. I am always wary of men, always frightened they will hurt me; use and abuse me. I no longer trust anyone; it’s too risky; it’s putting my feelings to stake so i keep  them inside as i always have, locked away in their little box, far away from society or civilization.

Image

Once again, i have been silenced.