SUSHILA – MY LATE FRIEND

I feel i want to express a short tribute to my dear friend, Sushila, who we sadly lost this week. This is with express permission of her family.

 

Sushila was 42 and lived in the UK, some way from me but we spoke on the phone often and met up when we could. She was a very compassionate Social Worker, working with disabled young adults and she loved her work. She never married, nor had children – i think she put everything she had emotionally, into her work. However, she did have a lovely, big softy of a dog called Tizzy. (Her family obviously don’t want me to publish Sushila’s photo but here is a photo of Tizzy when she was a pup). She is so cute and much loved by all and is now being looked after and re-homed with friends close to where she lived.

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Most of her family lived in Rajasthan, India and were Hindus, as was she and Hindus believe that after you die, you are reincarnated according to how you behaved in your previous life (as in the following excerpt):

‘There is one thing that is certain in this lifetime: eventually we all must die. A belief in the cyclical reincarnation of the soul is one of the foundations of the Hindu religion. Death is viewed as a natural aspect of life, and there are numerous epic tales, sacred scriptures, and vedic guidance that describe the reason for death’s existence, the rituals that should be performed surrounding it, and the many possible destinations of the soul after departure from its earthly existence. While the ultimate goal is to transcend the need to return to life on earth, all Hindus believe they will be reborn into a future that is based primarily on their past thoughts and actions’.

 

Sushila was travelling back from visiting friends in Leeds when she was involved in a fatal road accident. She was travelling alone and both cars involved were a write-off. The police and ambulance crew said she was killed outright and wouldn’t have suffered which i thank God for. The other driver and passenger are in hospital, one in critical condition, the other, stable.

 

Her family are obviously devastated and a service will be held for her in the UK in two weeks time, after which, her body (that term makes it sound so impersonal), will be flown back to her family in Rajasthan for a traditional Hindu funeral. I will be unable to attend that service but will be going to the service here in two weeks time. I miss her so much already and can’t yet believe that she is no longer with us. They say ‘time is a great healer’ but that is of no comfort right now.

 

Sushila’s name actually means ‘a good charactered woman’…..how apt, how fitting, how appropriate for someone who devoted their short life to caring for others less fortunate than herself.

 

SUSHILA, MY DEAR FRIEND….REST IN PEACE XXX.

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MAY I DEDICATE MY BRAVE HEART AWARD TO MY LATE FRIEND,

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I was extremely honoured and quite amazed to be nominated for The Brave Heart Award by http://lifeandptsd.wordpress.com/  who writes an excellent and sensitive blog with a great deal of insight and courage and i am proud to call her a friend as many of you are.

 

However, because of current circumstances, having very recently lost a friend, i am unable to fulfill all the requirements needed to pass on this award to a further twelve very worthy nominees which i would have been been honoured to do. I do hope it is acceptable to you all that i dedicate my Award to my late friend, Sushila who was also a courageous survivor of abuse and a great source of support to others who have been through similar trauma.

 

I am currently not able to answer the questions required of me if i were to accept this award but i would like to quote the Brave Heart Mission Statement in honour of Sushila, as follows:

What is The Brave Heart Award?  The Brave Heart Award is for survivors of abuse and for those who encourage healing.

Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

Each step you take you are not alone.

Stand Strong.

 

I do hope the decision i have taken has not offended or upset any of you. There are many of you who i would have liked to nominate if circumstances were different. If i have upset or offended anyone, please accept my humble apologies. Thank you, all, for your care and understanding x