Day: May 14, 2014

I am, by nature, a born pessimist! I don’t want to be but have never known how to be any other way. My entrance into this world and my growing years were extremely negative and in addition, I come from a large family or pessimists. I want to change this into being positive but have no idea where to start.

When I first started writing this blog (in January 2014), the idea was just to keep a log of my thoughts, feelings and activities. I had no idea that I would make cyber-friends who I care very much about but who could be snuffed out like a candle in one second on the keyboard. And I didn’t realise that this worked in reverse, of course. I have been snuffed out by a few people (not many) who I have met on my way through and all be it, I will never meet them but it still hurts like hell. I had no idea that I would become part of a close-knit community who feel almost like family. Am I too sensitive? Perhaps I’m not a realist?

I wanted this blog to be friendly in a happy sort of way. I wanted to write happy thoughts. I wanted to be positive. How come most of my posts have been seriously negative, reflecting the shadow of my life.

I think I think too much about everything. I reflect, in my writing, all the negatives. I don’t want to be like this! How do I break out of this perpetual cycle? I want to be positive but sometimes I think of all the mistakes I’ve made along the way and that doesn’t help and what’s more, I know it doesn’t help so why do it?!

I’m fed up dwelling on my admittedly, appalling, abusive past. I’m fed up with my hurtful, if not abusive, family! I want to write with a positive flavour. How do I turn all the negatives into positives?

Answers on a postcard please!

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