I live in fear of disclosing myself to my fullest
although my minimum appears too much sometimes.
Because of certain and particular other’s misinterpretations,
I dare not show myself in all my hues or shades.
I would be rejected, damned to hell and never forgiven.
I dare not even hint at who ‘others’ are as I am so fearful of their retaliation
‘Others’ have no heart, no thought, no consideration of where
or who I happen to be or what I might be feeling, let alone my opinions.
Sometimes, I yearn to be a star in the night sky or a moonbeam shining down brightly
but alas, I must remain a heavy cloud at midnight, waiting to see the first light of dawn so I may shade the sun.
I am dull, like an old coin, when occasionally I am longing to be an emerald or a sapphire.
I wish to live in the daylight, not hide in the darkness with not even a shadow for company
.
Essentially Ellie 