Well……that’s decided it! I’ve spoken to the BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists) about the aforementioned, nightmare therapist, J, and they have said that yes, indeed, she is accredited to BACP and they advise me to make a formal complaint against her for the damage she did to my life and is still responsible for lifelong and ongoing damage as a result of her abuse. And yes, I know ‘abuse’ is a frequent topic in blogs, but this isn’t physical or sexual abuse (both of which I’ve been subject to in my lifetime), but professional and emotional abuse. It has left its legacy of destruction in that my body is now badly scarred because I was cutting at that time, my liver damaged due to the excess alcohol intake, goodness knows what damage has been done to me from taking so many cocktails of pills in my many attempts to kill myself. I’m relieved to say that I no longer drink, takes pills or drugs and have been clean and sober for nearly two years. Unfortunately, I still struggle with self-harm which I had hoped J would have helped me to overcome, instead of which, she worsened this to a great degree. I still have an ongoing battle with anorexia which I had hoped would improve, instead of which it deteriorated to the extent that whilst under her care, I was admitted to hospital twice, for six months each time at a weight of 5st (70lbs)!

Worst of all, is that because of my mental health deterioration at that time, I have alienated my two adult children, so rarely see my daughter and granddaughters and I don’t have contact with my son and therefore my baby granddaughter and they all are my greatest loss of all.

I have received a formal email from BACP this morning enclosing thirteen pages of necessary information for me to read and reply to. I have to say that although I have chosen to go down this route, I am, nevertheless, terrified of the whole situation. She wielded so much power over me, the thought of possibly having to face her again is extremely frightening and I feel sick at the thought of going through with this but I just cannot knowingly allow her to continue to destroy other clients’ lives.

Unfortunately the Foundation have advised me that my eight year’s of official notes for that time, disappeared at the same time that J left the Foundation. They, and I, find it more than a coincidence! These could have been used as evidence in my favour. 

I’ve never done anything like this before and feel I am really jumping in at the deep end. I know these cases can take many years to resolve and there are always consequences. It is possible that I may lose my current therapist who is really helpful because she works in the same Counselling Foundation where J was a member although is no longer. That would entail having to start all over again with someone new and I really don’t like having to be passed from pillar to post.