Day: June 13, 2014

THE ‘NOT FRESHLY PRESSED’ AWARD

Award
Award

I have kindly been nominated for the ‘Not Freshly Pressed Award’ by my fellow blogger, Teela Hart. Her blog is one of my favourites – she is clever, inspiring and helps a lot of us get through difficult days. Please do go and pay her a visit at http://teelahart.com/author/teelahart/ . I am very honoured and humbled to receive this award, so thank you, Teela.

Don Charisma made the “Not Freshly Pressed Badge”.  He is an amazing blogger and an awesome photographer.  Please go by and pay him a visit.  He is a true asset to our community.

I didn’t honestly think I was too fussed about being ‘Freshly Pressed’, but it is an honour to reach out to those who have similar experiences to mine or any type of trauma. I hope I am helping some bloggers through my blog which is very dark at times but I try to intersperse that with some humour in other posts.

Here are the rules for accepting the award:

 

1. Select the blog(s) you think deserve the “I’m NOT Featured on Freshly Pressed Award”.
2. Write a blog post and tell us the blog(s) you have chosen (there are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required) and “present” the blog(s) with their award.
3. Include in your blog post a paragraph about why you’d like to be on WordPress’ Freshly Pressed OR a paragraph on why you couldn’t care less about Freshly Pressed. Up to you …
4. Let the blog(s) that you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the instructions with them. (Please don’t alter the instructions or the badge!)
5. Come over and say hello to the originator of the “The I’m NOT Featured On Freshly Pressed Award” via this link: http://DonCharisma.org/2014/01/01/the-im-not-featured-on-freshly-pressed-award
6. And as a winner of the award, please add a link back to the blog that presented you with this award, and then PROUDLY display the award on your blog.
7. If you ever do get officially “Freshly Pressed” then take down this award badge and display the official “Freshly Pressed” badge instead.

My nominees are:

Emma’s cup

Finding Hope’s Sunshine

20inthe2000’s

LifeandPTSD

I OUGHT TO BE OVER THE MOON BUT I’M NOT :(

Wednesday evening, 11 June 2014

9.10pm, on my way up to bed; the phone rings. “Who’s phoning at this time in the evening?”, I think. A hesitant voice then says, “Hello Mum”. It’s my son, much to my amazement! My first thought was that something awful had happened, maybe he was very ill; worse still, maybe if my little granddaughter had been badly hurt or had died. My mind raced at a million miles an hour along with my heartbeat. I was so surprised to hear his voice as I can’t even remember the last time he phoned me. It must have been when S. was born; she’s now one and a half and I have only seen her once which hurts so much, especially as I don’t see my daughter’s two little ones hardly at all either. I am a ‘Nanny’ and I’ve no idea how that feels….I’m not ‘in those shoes’, so to speak.

My son says, “I thought i’d tell you before it goes on Facebook that K. is pregnant, twelve weeks now!” I was really shocked…This is K. who can’t look after her first child, S, without her mother doing practically everything for her so how on Earth is she going to look after two little ones, I think? My son, T. says, Oh, K’s mum is going to give up work so that she can be with K. all the time! (And yes, maybe there is a bit of the green-eyed monster in the back of my head but nevertheless, my concern is genuine). I hear myself saying “Congratulations to you both”, In a shocked and half-hearted way.

What are the chances of seeing this new baby, this new life, my grandchild when I never see S.? Virtually nil, I imagine sadly. I am hurting. I hardly know what it means to be a ‘Nanny’ and the little ones barely know me. I am just a stranger to them.

I said something to T. about how much I’d welcome a visit from them and of course, to see S. Muttering about work commitments and such came back and I got nowhere. 

When I got off the phone, I didn’t feel the joy or excitement usually following such news. I felt flat, I felt nothing, empty, hurt. I certainly didn’t feel ‘over the moon’, as most people would do under normal circumstances.

Image

(photo credit: acclaim clip art)