For those of you who have been following my story of my nightmare therapist and the damage that she has done (see my last post https://elliethompson.wordpress.com/2014/06/07/formal-complaint-in-at-the-deep-end/ ), this is an update although not quite the update I had envisaged by any means.
I have been consumed by this whole issue and the unjustness of it all for some time and laid out in my above-mentioned post, quite clearly what my intentions were. I had applied to have access to my medical records and was prepared to search for any evidence I could find in my favour, i.e. going through eight years worth of diary entries, digging out gifts and cards that this therapist, J, gave me and getting statements from family members and my GP etc to back up my case.
Yesterday, I had my therapy appointment where we talked at length about this whole situation. After a lot of discussion about what type of feelings would be evoked in me by delving into the past again and about what the long-term gain would be; also listening to the feelings and opinions of my family, I eventually came to the conclusion that, in actual fact, going through this process would have an extremely negative impact on my mental health which I’m not prepared to risk, having fought hard to get as well as I am. She just isn’t worth it and even if I succeeded in my goal of having her struck off the BACP register, It wouldn’t stop her practicing privately which I have no control over.
Sometimes, winning the battle can have negative consequences. As a wise old Indian Chief quoted:
Essentially Ellie 
You could always write her a letter to explain your hurts and how you’ve come to these decisions. I don’t know, I’m just giving ideas for closure. I hope you are satisfied with this answer. …. but seriously, she gave you gift cards? Anyway. xxxx
Yes, She not only gave me cards but also presents, signed books, hugs and kisses and “I love you’s”. I loved her more than I did my Mum at that stage. She really had me emotionally trapped and kept me in the same place all those years, never allowing me to move on. I wondered whether to write to her as I know where she lives anyway. I’m just not sure what the repercussions would be. My guess is that she certainly wouldn’t reply xxx
Reporting to a licensing board is essentially destroying a career. I’m glad you’re not taking this lightly.
Not in the UK unfortunately. She could be struck off bacp but that doesn’t stop her practising legally, it just means she can’t be a bacp member.
I think for what its worth your doing the right thing. You will gain more by talking out this whole abuse dynamic in your currnet therapy and with your current, good, therapist. I think she is not worth your time or effort. xxx
Thanks, Carol anne. I came to that conclusion too – she really isn’t worth making myself ill again. xxx