Well, I do have to say that I am feeling really good and that makes a change so make the most of it because I sure am! 🙂
Today, I feel great, and yesterday I felt great too. Yesterday was fantastic – I had such a brilliant time. I went with a group of people I’m involved with, on the train, all the way to Clacton-on-Sea (which is a little seaside town on the south-east coast of the UK). It takes about one hour on the train. Now, bearing in mind, I’m a recovering agoraphobic, this was quite amazing for me! It was a day full of ‘firsts’ too…it was the first time I’d seen the sea for about five years! Better than that…it was the first time I’d been on a train in about fifteen or so years!! Incredible!
I felt safe with this group of friends which helped, especially safe with ‘Carol’ who’d organized the whole thing (thanks Carol although you don’t read my blog!). It was my first trip out of my home-town in my new powered wheelchair…Oh, thank the Lord, I didn’t have to be pushed in my old manual wheelchair! How I hate that, always. It make me feel helpless whereas my electric wheelchair makes me feel empowered. The train journey was ‘a piece of cake’ as we say here…meaning ‘easy-peasy’. (Now I’m showing off!).
Once we’d arrived at the seafront, I was as free as a bird. I paired up with another girl, also in an electric wheelchair and we bombed it up the promenade, looking at all the little kiosks selling ‘kiss me quick hats’, beachballs, buckets and spades, blow-up dinghies and the like. Some of them sold food too. We sailed past one stretch and I said to L, “what was that gorgeous smell?”. She replied “doughnuts” and they were cooked while you wait. So, another first, a freshly cooked, hot ring doughnut covered in sugar that it’s impossible not to get all round your mouth! Yummy!
More zooming about (carefully dodging pedestrians, of course!) until it was lunchtime. We decided to stop at another kiosk and had coffee, and, for the first time (again), I had a fresh hotdog in a bun, complete with fried onions and ketchup and God knows how many calories! Oh, and chips! And did I care about my ‘diet’; did I heck! I thoroughly enjoyed it. So did L – she had the same.
After a while we met up with the rest of the group, found ourselves a little café to get coffee. But did I stop at that? Nope! I spied an ice-cream stall close-by and before I knew it, I found myself sitting with a strawberry Cornetto in my hand; another first. I don’t usually ‘allow’ myself ice-cream so that was also a first of sorts.
I had a fantastic time and the journey back was good too and I think, for once, I had a smile glued permanently on to my face all day long! I’m already planning when I can do it all again! It completely took me away from all my problems, heartaches, pain etc, etc…which did me a power of good because today, I’m still feeling the ‘feel-good factor’ and still smiling. Oh, what it is to have my independence! I wouldn’t exchange it ‘for all the tea in China’. (I don’t know if you have these quaint little sayings overseas, that I have been littering my chit-chat with?). If not, I can ‘translate’ at a reasonable fee!
Traditional, corny old British song (excuse the pathetic animations), coming up!
Essentially Ellie 
I’m absolutely thrilled for you Ellie!
Amazing! so many “firsts” that you deserve fine praise for your willingness and openness to get out there and have an adventure!
When things are down — think of these moments to help you gather strength!
In the meantime —- enjoy the feelings and celebrate! Life is for Living Ellie — so try to take one small mini adventure a day — you know, something tiny — but, it all adds up 🙂
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, Pat and I like your positive idea of taking a ‘mini adventure’ every day and remembering those successful moments. I’m not not feeling too good today so am trying hard to put that into practice. Hugs, Ellie xxx
I’m hoping you feel better soon — it’s hard to ride the roller coaster of ups and downs — but think on any mini-something that lifts your spirits.
Hugs back to you 🙂
This might be why you’re struggling now. What comes up must come down, and with BPD, the ups send into deep spirals as people come down. Glad you had fun, and remember that you’ll pull out of this darkness. xx
Well, I certainly have come down into a deep spiral now and am really feeling it. I guess I just have to patient, try to remember that i will get up again and that I did have a good time.. Thanks, as always, for your support. Hugs, Ellie xxx
I, too, love to be by the seaside. I hope that you’re feeling better today (like when you wrote this post) than last week.
This is another post I’d completely forgotten about. I remember the outing, just not writing about it here. I swear that these last two posts that you’ve come across aren’t even listed under ‘All Posts’, which is very strange. I’ll have to double-check. I wonder what else I’ve forgotten about.
I’m still feeling rather fragile (the best way I can describe it really). My therapy is very tough lately and I think it’s one of those things where feelings and emotions get harder before they get easier. However, in between the bad times, there are happy times, too. It’s just hard to make myself remember that at the moment. Hopefully, I’ll be back on form soon, though. X
As explained in my previous reply “/?random.” (https://dailyflabbergast.wordpress.com/2021/11/18/random-raiders/ if you’re curious). You never know what you will find as a reader and what you will bring up for the writer. I love that.
You said it well – sometimes it’s just hard to remember the good moments. Or we choose not to and instead marinade in the bad. So, may this post be a small reminder of good things to have been and to come.
Oh, yes, I’d forgotten about the random raiders. I’d forgotten how to use it, so thanks for the reminder. It certainly does bring up feelings for me. Currently, it is hard to remember the good times, although I did really enjoy my recent birthday celebrations. I spend a lot of time on my own with probably too much time to think and ruminate. That said, I do have a few weekly social meetings in the near future, so perhaps, it will do me good to be with other people in different circumstances. X
Sounds like something to look forward to!