I’m just going to write this randomly because I just feel like it….mad or what? It’s way past my bedtime and I should be getting some sleep before college  tomorrow, but no….here I am, writing again….


I am so pissed off with looking at the negatives in my life when I should looking at the positives. But, It’s not that easy – I only wish it was. There is more to life than being stuck in between….isn’t there?

“Trying to make some sense of it all,
But I can see that it makes no sense at all,
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor,
‘Cause I don’t think that I can take anymore
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you”

My kids are slowly killing me by way of torture but I need to find a way to let go of them, move on, forget all about them, pretend they don’t exist! But how? Anyone got any good ideas…..please; all suggestions considered; any takers out there? Answers on a postcard, maybe?

I need a fairy with a magic wand! Now, there’s an idea….fairies and magic…..mmmm……I love fairies (and angels) – I think they’re magical, just magical!

Tomorrow, I’m going to sit down and write out and illustrate my favorite magical things (maybe from a child’s perspective). Because, I’m sick of being stuck in the middle of this war when I’m a peace-loving soul at heart. It’ll be a challenge, that’s for sure.

And now I can/must go to bed and try to leave my muddied thoughts outside on the pavement, where they belong. I will take the fairies and the magic up to bed with me. Sweet dreams, my friends xxx 


Well that wasn’t really worth the paper it was written on, was it?


  1. How very strange (or perhaps not). I hardly remember writing this post! Perhaps it was my playful person as part of my DDNOS surfacing. Or perhaps, I was half-asleep as it was late and different thought processes were at work. Nevertheless, I am debating whether to trash this post, as always in this situation, with my finger hovering over the ‘Trash’ button. We’ll see x

  2. Don’t forget your children. Forgive them. Pray for them. I’ve been doing this discipleship with someone and it calls for you to write out what you need to forgive (in a list, not therapeutic style) and go down the list and pray forgiveness. That’s the first step. There are probably 200 pages of work to do after that. I read for weeks before I went back and finally did the forgiveness step. It wasn’t detailed. “I forgive ____ for:” Learning to seek the Lord has been a lifesaver for me in the past two months. I have changed more through working to forgive through Christ than I have in 4 years of therapy. I’m praying for you. Love you dear ❤ ❤ ❤

    1. Yes, you are right and your discipleship sounds really valuable and interesting and am sure will deepen your faith even more than it’s considerable depth already. I’m so glad it is helping you and I feel it is something I could work on and benefit from considerably too. You are always in my prayers also. God bless you my dear friend. Love for you too. {{Hugs}} Ellie xxx ❤

  3. Nothing you write is rubbish Ellie. I always love reading your posts. I love angels too, and our little taylor loves fairies, especially tinkerbell. I hope that you did manage some sleep on that night..I know it was some weeks ago now. xoxo ❤

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