Month: July 2015

I thought this was a really interesting article and found it very thought-provoking, and agreed with most of it apart from No.6 which disputes “You are special” – I tell both my son and my daughter (when I get the opportunity) that they will always be special to me and that I keep them close to my heart. x

(All credit goes to Tina Plantamura with my thanks)

My oldest son just graduated high school and is now embarking on the next leg of his journey that will bring him closer to real life. I have come to realize that there are so many things that I wish I could un-tell him.

I hope he knows that all of these empowering, yet misleading little statements that I (or others with the best intentions in mind) might have spoken into his nearly grown-up ears are not exactly true…

1. You don’t owe anyone anything.

You have one major responsibility: to be part of the positive change in this world. If you are not part of it, you are opposing it. You owe everyone (including yourself) a measure of kindness, mercy, patience, respect and empathy. Everyone is fighting some sort of battle. Everyone has a chapter in their lives that they do not want to read aloud. You might have stepped right into the middle of someone’s toughest battle, so while they are struggling to keep it together, if nothing else, all you have to do is be kind. How hard is that?

2. Respect is earned, not given freely.

This is similar to the “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” argument, but more ridiculous. Should you wait for someone to earn your respect before you respect them? Should you assume no one respects you until you have clearly earned their respect? Can you get respect without giving it? Can you give respect and just automatically assume you’ll earn it? If you don’t earn someone’s respect, should you be disrespectful to them? You are responsible for the way you conduct yourself, regardless of whether anyone else is respectful. So please, be respectful.

3. Just be yourself, and people will know how talented/qualified/desirable you are!

Too many other logical statements make this one seem absurd: Step out of your comfort zone. Make your presence known. Know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be “no.” Persistence, humility, and deliberate effort will help you shine and move toward the direction of becoming a productive human.

Please, please do not just float around in this world and expect to get what you want by being your cute little self. Also, know that sometimes you will bust your ass and no one will notice but you. Hey, this leads us to the next one…

4. Hard work pays off.

Except when it doesn’t. Occasionally, the hardest work and the most diligent efforts yield the most dreaded result: nothing. Life is unfair sometimes. You have to work hard anyway, because no work ALWAYS yields nothing.

5. You have to pursue your dream career in order to be happy in life.

Find 15 people and ask them if they have their dream job. Then, ask them if they are happy with their lives. The answers will surprise you. Not everyone needs a wonderful, rewarding career in order to be happy in life. Some people are working in their field of choice, doing exactly what they always wanted to do, and they’re miserable. Some people merely have “a job” and still live rewarding, spectacular lives. And some love their career, but long for more in their personal lives. Do pursue your dreams, but make sustainability a priority. Working hard to support yourself can be more rewarding than being 30 years old and waiting for the perfect career while still living in your childhood bedroom. The way to prevent that from becoming your future is to make sure you are able to earn a living even if you don’t ever land your dream job.

6. You are special!

You are no better, no worse, no greater, and no less than anyone else in this world. Every person you know is better than you at something. Every person you know struggles with something that is very easy for you. Use your strengths to make this world a better, more enjoyable place (because when it’s better for others, it’s better for you, too). Ask for and accept help when you need it. Never behave as though any person, task, or circumstance is above you or beneath you.

***

Words. I’ve been writing most of the afternoon (I know I am blessed to be able to have the time to do so when the fancy takes me). Many don’t have this opportunity. I’ve been writing letters and emails mostly – catching up with old friends and trying to establish new affiliations with vaguely familiar acquaintances from my new church. Forming links and building bridges . But when I read over what I have written, I am dismayed to find it is mostly ‘waffle’ (but then I’ve always been a bit of a ‘waffler’ or so I’m often told). Mind you, when I am told that I am, it has the effect of making me feel that I want to slither like a snail, silently back into my shell and then crawl out of view, under the nearest and most jagged rock I can find. Such is my shame and embarrassment.

Words. I wish I could find them, or at least I wish I could find them when I am most at a loss for them. Words can be cheap, ugly and almost disposable or they can be rare, beautiful and very valuable. I just wish I could find the right ones at the right moment. Instead of which, I very often open my mouth and stick my size four foot right into it. I’ve decided that jagged rocks are quite a good find on such an occasion.

Words. I love the way that each strike of a keyboard produces a different letter. The letters of the alphabets of this world take on amazing forms, shapes and symbols, collectively producing individual words which tumble into sentences and expressions which can vary from dire to mediocre to quite stunning said at the right time at the right place.

Words. I’m reading back – I have, on reflection, achieved nothing but waffle and so will take my leave at this point and go in search of a suitably uncomfortable jagged rock. They have their uses at times.

AN OUTSIDER’S VIEW OF ‘FINE’

I’m fine….didn’t you know I was fine? No need to worry. Everything is okay. I’m happy. Didn’t I tell you earlier…..that I feel so much better? So, now you know. It’s alright. I’m doing great…..so you see…..I’m fine!

Do you think I’m fine?

He has come amongst you albeit you are unaware

He lies, he robs, he wounds beyond your imagination

Untold deceit, the pickings, and scars are left in his wake

Behind a trail of heartache, grief and isolation

~~~

He could be the passer-by in the street or your colleague

Standing on the terraces as you cheer your team on to win

You’ll never know it’s him for he clothes himself in gold

As if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth and sin far from his soul

~~~

Do not trust him as he lures you on for he is far from honest

He will break your heart as surely as he would your bank

With a grin on his face, he treads the path between the cracks

Then, as he drops a silver star, he knows his game is up

~~~

When finally caught, he declares, “not I, not I, not I”

“For no wrong have I done my friend or neighbour”

But the disgrace on his face is the undoing of him

And he is no longer able; though he never was a free man.