I don’t know how one twisted woman can be responsible for so much emotional damage to a family. This woman is at the centre of this pernicious ripple effect. Tides of toxic emotion are flowing outwards in ever-increasing circles reaching as far as myself, my eighty-year-old mother and many relatives who are caught up in the middle of this turmoil.
[Since my last post, (Justice Stinks), the situation concerning my son and my grandchildren has got progressively worse. There is to be another important court hearing this week because my daughter-in-law, *Kate and her family are being totally bloody-minded, making everything as difficult as possible for my son, *Tom. Also, they are poisoning a little girl’s mind by telling her lies about her daddy and will doubt start to coach my one-year-old grandchild before very long. Going back to court is costing *Tom another $2,500 in legal fees (taking the total up to $25,000), not that you can put a price on a child’s head.
In the meantime, my daughter, *Clare, has become involved as she is supporting my son. As a result of this, my daughter-in-law’s family are making life hell for *Clare and her two young children too. At the bottom of all this trouble is *PL, (Kate’s aunt) who is the linchpin of this nasty situation. She was the one who, (if you read my blog post ‘Abduction’), is the cause of all the trouble].
How does one sick mind impact on so many people and have the potential to harm the emotional well-being of four children and numerous adults? It’s beyond my comprehension why someone in their right mind would go out of their way to wreak such damage. But then I have to ask myself whether, in fact, she is in her ‘right mind’. Should I (in this case) have more compassion under these circumstances?
Essentially Ellie 
i wouldnt have compasssion for her. i’d be so furious which i know you probably are. all my compassion would be gone out the window. i hope that this mess can be cleared up soon. XX thinking of you ellie. hugs
Thank you, Carol anne. I’ll update you when I know more. Hugs too, Ellie xxx
Compassion – given we are not saints – no matter how ethically we try to live – can be difficult to muster – especially when one is so directly affected and emotionally involved.
It would be far easier to stand with “compassionate detachment” if it wasn’t your family being ripped apart.
And yes, in truth – it *is* the one who is the center – who *does* need the most compassion – given her determined actions and utter manipulation and destructive chaos – but it can be difficult to step back, much less distance oneself, when one is being so affected.
Don’t be blaming yourself for feeling less than “spiritually right” – it’s human nature and completely natural to be feeling as you are – perhaps the best way to consider “her actions and deeds” is to simply “stop thinking about her motivation” – ultimately – that is of little concern – what is? The well being and best interests of the children – who are the victims here – and for the family who is trying to protect them.
hugs and light and prayers to you Ellie xxx
Thank you, Pat. I can understand everything that you are saying. It’s tough not to think about her motivation as we know that her motivation is to have the children to herself as *Kate lives with her aunt and uncle. Kate is completely controlled by them, particularly her aunt and doesn’t play an active role in caring for the children at all. My primary concern, without a doubt, is my grandchildren’s welfare. *PL is determined to take the children away from my son who was always the main caregiver, and for no good reason other than pure selfishness. She doesn’t have children of her own and makes it very evident by her actions that she wants to bring Lily and Josh up herself.
She is poisoning my grandchildren’s little minds with lies about my son who is their daddy. He always diffuses the situation carefully and positively and every time Lily says anything of this nature, he reassures both of them that ‘daddy loves them.’ He never retaliates by adverse action but guides her to thinking and remembering the positive feelings and memories they have when with their daddy. It is so wrong and so unfair that the children are at the centre of this nightmare and I daren’t think what damage this is doing to two little innocent children.
I haven’t previously mentioned the fact that Kate was abusive towards my son for many years and that the aunt regularly physically and verbally attacks the uncle. My son has clear evidence of this but the judge on the day wasn’t interested in the peripheral goings on but purely on deciding about custody of the children and said that, and I quote, unbelievably, “the father is capable of earning a higher wage to support his children and should therefore be the main breadwinner!!!” and “children are better off with a stable home and that is to be with their mother.!!”. I think the judge must have seriously just come out from the Ark!!
Please forgive me if I come across as angry, Pat. Writing is the only way I can express my fury and fears about what damage is being done to these two little lives.
Thanks for listening to me rant, Pat. I didn’t intend to write so much. I think I am feeling these emotions more than usual because of a nasty event that happened to me two days ago which I’m still trying to deal with and process. I may write my next post about that as I think I might explode otherwise! Thank you so much for your continuing love, support and prayers. Big hugs, Pat; truly big hugs, and I haven’t forgotten about replying to your email. Sending very much love, Ellie xxxx
oh don’t you be worrying about emails and such … seriously ….
and yes – be as angry as you damn well want – totally understandable – you don’t need my or any other person’s permission – you right in the middle of a huge nightmare – so – vent and write it all out – it’ll help with the release of emotions … in a “safe and controlled way” …
sending you lots of light, love, and prayers Ellie xxx