She is what she is … or is she, indeed?

She’s perplexed, befuddled, embroiled

Lost her mind along enmeshed journeys

She belongs, does she not to this world?


Is she real or a trickster, a fraud inside?

Not knowing her mind, too caught up in lies

Or perhaps, revealing her open wounds

You win some, you lose some, just look in her eyes


She’s not without fear though she’s scared of the thrill

The rollercoaster won’t come to an end

She writes her life’s story in ink, so black

You may wonder how her thoughts are penned


Innocence seen, and innocence gone

A fight in a nightmare; she holds her breath

The howls can be heard from far away

Will she ever return from the brink of death


You know her, you don’t, you think that you may

She’s a friend, a soldier, blood-kin

She lives or she dies; knowing the shadow side

Unknown, she wears her chameleon skin



8 thoughts on “CHAMELEON SKIN

  1. A chameleon is a good metaphor for our multifaceted personalities. I think we all probably have bits of our personalities that we like, bits we don’t like and bits we don’t think much about either way. With some people, I’m serious, with others I’m carefree. Sometimes I’m confident, More often, I’m shy. In that way, I think I’m a bit of a chameleon too. Unfortunately, I can’t do the cool thing with eyes that look in different directions, though. 🙂

    1. You are very insightful, Bun. I guess we would be, perhaps, a little too predictable if we just had the one side to us – we are as humans, complex beings. I think, personally, that as someone with BPD, the multifaceted side of my own personality is more noticeable, sometimes uncomfortably so but I guess that’s what makes me, me, whether I like it or not x

  2. Hi Ellie – it’s Pat 🙂

    This is really one truly amazing piece – what an incredible poem – filled with such reflective understanding and insight – and fashioned with words and lines that are really – brilliant! Outstanding Ellie!


    1. Hi, my friend, so good to see you back and here at WP too. I’m glad we didn’t lose you for long. I’ve been thinking of you 🙂

      Thank you for kind comments – that means a lot to me. I write poems, often very spontaneously and then frequently reflect back on them and criticize myself to the point of almost sending them to Trash – seriously. It’s genuinely, really hard to stop myself from doing so.

      Sometimes, I wonder whether I will ever know who I really am but I’ve just been accepted onto a course designed especially for people with BPD – it’s meant to help with managing emotions, changing the distorted ways I sometimes view my world and myself, controlling impulsiveness etc. It’s quite a big commitment but I am keen to start it at the end of February. It should be very interesting and beneficial.

      I will drop in at your new ‘home’ very soon. Big Hugs, Ellie xxx

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