Why does everything have to be a battle? I think, sometimes, the world revolves around money, [as well as politics, religion and small-minded people who think they have a right to take innocent lives, but in the light of the very recent killings in Orlando, I don’t intend to go into that here].
On a much more personal (and perhaps selfish) note, I have spent the last three months fighting for funding to allow me to keep the basic disability care that I need every day. I appreciate that I am very fortunate to have any care at all when there are so many people without care, both in developed countries and even more so in third-world countries. You may ask why I don’t provide fully for myself financially – the answer being that I am not able to work because I am studying – and that is in order to get back to some useful work. I only wish I had a wealthy or affluent partner or family on tap but that is not the case.
Currently, the Social Care Department are now arguing with me as to whether I need my electric wheelchair as opposed to a manual one. They are prepared to supply me with a standard wheelchair which, yes, would get me about in my home with some assistance needed but would be hopeless if I wanted to have more than an indoor or very limited lifestyle.
There would be no more getting into the town for food and shopping as well as going to University, where I am studying for a degree in Psychology and Public Health so that I can go out [ironically, in my electric wheelchair] and operate both economically and productively in society. Other necessary journeys would also be curtailed and therefore, out of the question. Don’t they get it? My wheelchair is my legs. I feel it would make far more sense if I were able to live a life outside of my home where I can function, independently, realistically and be able to earn enough to enable me to buy my own electric wheelchair which would solve the problem altogether.
Can’t they see how short-sighted they are? If I can’t remain as independent as I currently am, it is very likely to impact on my mental health. I could require more care from mental health resources which would, in turn, affect my physical health. This would lessen my chances of returning to work. This would be more of a drain on the Government Health Department and cost them much more in the long term.
My mental health, that is my Emotional Intensity Disorder (EID), also known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is no secret from them, nor my friends and family or indeed my WordPress followers. It is a day-to-day struggle just to stay on an even keel as things are now and attempt to support myself. I live my life positively in general, and I wish for that status quo to remain. However, it does affect my life in a big way but, I neither feel sorry for myself nor expect the world to be handed to me on a plate. When it comes down to it, I just want to live a fulfilling and useful life and be of much use to my friends, family, society in general and the world as possible.
Currently, I now feel physically and mentally exhausted. Is it selfish, at this point, to say that, yes, I do also want to be as happy and content as I can possibly be for myself too?
7 thoughts on “GETTING ON WITH MY LIFE (RANT)”
Everything is short term gain, unfortunately, Ellie. Governments and government departments would rather save a fiver now than five hundred pounds in ten years time.
You’re definitely right there, Mick. Governments can be incredibly short-sighted.
I fear Mick is probably right. Governments can be amazingly short-sighted when it comes to things like this. I hope you can persuade the powers that be to let you keep your electric wheelchair.
Thanks, Bun. I really am hoping that they do too. Otherwise, my life would change quite dramatically. I will let you know but will probably not have a definite answer for a couple of months yet.
I have my fingers crossed for you.
I will offer my prayers for you today, and my best wishes here. I’m so sorry this is hurting you, and I have no way to make your life better. Except to say–you’re not alone. I care.
Thank you so much, Cathleen. That is kind of you and your words are appreciated very much x