It’s a Cat’s Life

Princess Peanut – The Royal Portrait

“What do you mean it’s only five o’clock in the morning? Yes, I know you want to go back to sleep, but I’m hungry and want my breakfast. I will jump on your face until you get up and give me some food. You’re being unreasonable.” Honestly, I don’t know; you just can’t get the staff these days! Doesn’t my human realise I’m in charge of this house? I’m royalty, and she’s only the servant.

Finally, I’ve got my breakfast! I’m starving, and all I get is chicken and fish. It’s not good enough! It wouldn’t hurt to invest in a succulent piece of sirloin steak or some caviar for a change. I don’t want this biscuit rubbish either! I know; I’ll sneak out of the cat flap when Mum’s not looking and find my own food.

This is food fit for royalty, is it? I think not!

Thirty minutes later. Ah, ha … I spy a juicy mouse. I’ll creep up behind it and take it by surprise. I do wish it wouldn’t squeak so much! I’ll take it home and show her how brilliant my hunting prowess is. Mum will be so proud of me. Now, if I can just squeeze through the cat flap with it … Damn, I’ve dropped the little critter! I’ll chase after it. Oh, no, it’s run under the fridge. Why is Mum scowling? Isn’t she glad I’ve bought her a gift? “What d’you say? You’d rather have your presents wrapped in pretty paper with a ribbon and a bow?” There’s no pleasing some humans.

Cat and mouse games

The new vet is coming today – I hope she’s nicer than the one I usually have to see. That’s the doorbell; I’ll greet her – that’ll make a good impression. I hope she’s not going to stick one of those needles in me. That’s nice; she’s making a fuss of me. I think I like her apart from her smelling of dog. Meooow! She got me with that needle! That was a nasty trick. Now, she’s trying to clip my claws. Doesn’t she know I need them for climbing the trees out the back? How else would I catch the birds? This is totally unfair. She’s got a fight on her hands now. She called me a little madam – the cheek of it! “If you think I’m staying still on that table, you’ve got another think coming!” I’m out of here.

Two hours later. All that running around in the garden has worn me out. I think I’ll nip home for some rest. I’ll tiptoe up the stairs when Mum’s not looking. Uh ha, she’s left her bedroom door open. I know I’m not supposed to sleep on the bed, but I don’t care. It’s fit for a princess, and I’m just that. I don’t know what the confusion is. I deserve a sumptuous bed, not a cardboard box next to the radiator with a fluffy blanket. She can sleep in my box for a change. She won’t mind one bit, I’m sure.

Four hours later. That was a lovely snooze … yawn … stretch … Look at me. Aren’t I adorable? I’m feeling lazy after all that sleep. I think I’ll go downstairs and chill out with a bit of TV. My favourite programme, Tom & Jerry, is on this afternoon. I like an action movie …

Where’s Tom & Jerry gone?

“Mum … Mum … this isn’t Tom & Jerry! Come here! Quick! Change the TV station, would you? I’m missing my programme! How dare you tell me you’ve just sat down with a coffee! How could you do that to the Royal Princess?” I don’t know; what do you have to do to get the slaves to work in this place? It’s just not good enough. “Right! No more presents for you! No mice, no slow worms, no birds, no nothing! That’ll teach you! Why are you grinning from one ear to the other? How dare you disrespect me! Right … that’s it! You’re fired!

51 thoughts on “It’s a Cat’s Life

  1. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ I love it! It sounds like my two cats- and they will jump on your face until you get up and feed them! Especially my Sable, she really does think she’s a princess! Hahahaha! Great post and funny too!

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Cherie. I think many cats behave like this, especially first thing in the morning when they want their breakfast regardless of the time. I had fun writing this too. Xx πŸ˜ŠπŸ’—πŸ˜˜

  2. There is no end to my delight in cat antics. Your Peanut is a wonderful personality, Ellie! Laughing hard here: “Mum will be so proud of me. . . Why is Mum scowling?” The drama! Love this.

    1. Thank you very much, Stacey. I’m glad it tickled you. Peanut is undoubtedly a real character. She still thinks she’s the boss of ‘her’ house. I can almost read her mind at times! I very much enjoyed writing this. It was a nice change from all the previous hospital drama. X 🐾

    1. Thank you so much for your very kind words, Devang. And thank you also for the welcome back. I missed writing during that time, but I think my mind and body were paying more attention to healing rather than writing then.

      I did try to like and reply to your post about going back to the gym, but for some reason, my comment kept bouncing back, so I doubt you would have received it. Sorry about that – I wasn’t sure what else I could do. I managed to read your post, but that was it: another WordPress glitch, no doubt. Take care.

      1. Don’t be sorry!!
        It’s not a glitch!
        Actually post will be out tomorrow. I posted today, but then thought to post tomorrow on a fresh month.
        πŸ™‚
        I hope you are 2

  3. You did a great job with that, Ellie! Peanut’s personality came through loud and clear, and I’m sure that’s exactly what she’d say if she could. Very funny, too….well done!!! PS: Did you ever find that mouse????

    1. Thanks so much, Ann. That means a lot to me. I did find the mouse, yes. I’d already bought a humane mousetrap, put a little piece of bread with peanut butter on it (apparently mice love it!) inside and hey presto! One kindly-trapped little mouse who got released well away from Peanut and, no doubt lived to tell another tale (or tail), at least, until it’s caught by another cat!

  4. Cats! I have two. I can’t live without them, but god do they make it hard to live with them. The dead animal gifts, the 5:30 wake up call, shots of insulin, fighting, random spraying for no apparent reason (fortunately not too frequently). I must hear once a month “Let’s get a kitten!” Ugh. We just spent $2000 on cat dental work. Yes, they are some of my favorite people, but I don’t want any more, at least not right now. Hopefully peanut is less hassle.

    1. Cats are a law unto themselves, aren’t they? I wouldn’t part with Peanut for all the tea in China, but I have to confess that I’d feel somewhat relieved and happier not to be on the receiving her carefully-presented gifts! I can deal with the dead ones, sad though it is, better than the live ones as I have a great deal of trouble getting down to floor level to catch them as they run. It’s even more difficult with birds as they take off and flap madly around the kitchen, and they’re a job and a half to catch. It’s the ones that don’t quite make it that get me – it’s so awful dealing with them as what do you do with them? I am very fortunate to be linked up with a wonderful wildlife rescue centre that has now given tiny baby bird carriers. If I can rescue a baby from Peanut, I pop it in the carrier and keep it warm and dark. The rescue centre then come out to me and collect the birds so they can be cared for and nursed until they’re ready to be independent. They do an excellent job and are a charity, so they are not adequately funded, relying on donations.

      It can’t be easy to administer insulin to a stubborn cat. How often do you have to do that (once a day?) As for getting a kitten in the future, I think I’d be tempted to get an adult cat who is past the age of hunting all the time. On the other hand, the drawback is that they wouldn’t live as long. Still, who knows; the whole thing’s a gamble, really. Like humans, there’s no knowing what the future holds. Probably just as well.

      1. The insulin is twice a day. Not a problem for Susan and me, but if anyone is cat sitting it’s almost impossible. Luckily, missing doses leads to slow decline. An extra dose, which we’ve done before is pretty scary. High chances of dying.

  5. Noooooo, not a mouse!!!! I don’t get why kitkats still go after birds and mice to be so damn cruel to them. That evolutionary need is not required anymore. They now have human slaves to cater to their every whim. Leave the wildlife alone guys! When our Virgil bought a mouse in the one time, still alive and it ran under the fridge, both my mum and I ended up standing on the kitchen chairs terrified because of the sounds both parties were making. Absolutely horrible. I think I’m scarred for life after that! πŸ˜‚

    I love your post. You’ve got it spot on. Oh to be a cat! What a stressful life they do lead, eating and sleeping, then a bit more eating and sleeping, sleeping some more… Sneaking on our beds when we don’t close the bedroom door, fluffing ourselves a bit to propel hair onto every part of the white cover.

    And what’s up with trying to get some affection from our kittykats? It’s like we can have a cuddle or pet them only when they say so, and always in return for a treat. These furballs have us wrapped around their cute little paws!

    Caz xx

    1. I love your comment, Caz. You have a great understanding of the lives and habits of cats. You’re so accurate in describing a cat’s peculiar ways and their temperaments. I totally agree about evolution. Why don’t our cats have a bit more respect and less of an appetite for wildlife? My garden has a wild area at the bottom with many trees and shrubs, so there are lots of places for little creatures to hide. Plus, the trees are perfect for nesting, so altogether, the mice, birds, slow worms etc., don’t have a leg (or wing) to stand on! I’m hoping that when Peanut gets older, she’ll lose some of her desire to hunt.

      As for affection, Peanut will pick and choose when she wants a cuddle like yours. She often decides to plonk herself on my laptop just as I’m beginning to write. Very inconvenient, and no doubt, not very good for the laptop. I’m sure my computer must be full of cat hair by now as it probably slips through underneath the keypads. I try not to think about it too much – I can’t afford yet another new laptop! Peanut is very definitely the boss in my house (or so she keeps telling me πŸ˜‰). Ellie xx

    1. Thank you so much, Mouseumi, for your comment and for stopping by my blog. I’m so glad you left me a comment as I’ve been trying to read your blog having found you on Harshi’s recent post. I’ve clicked on your avatar which takes me to your photo and blog name, but there is no website address to enable me to find you out there on WordPress. Perhaps, you could send me a link to it if that’s possible? Many thanks again. Ellie x πŸ’

      1. Thank you, Mousumi. Thank you also for the link to your blog. I will drop by in the next day or two. I appreciate it. I’m sure we’ll ‘meet’ again x

      2. It’s all my pleasure to know. In fact I’m also very attached to the WordPress family and like to expand it.You are very much welcome.❀

    1. πŸ˜‚ I really enjoyed writing this – it made me giggle too πŸ˜‚. It was a very light-hearted look at life with a determined ‘little madam’ as the vet calls Peanut because she can be so feisty. You’d think butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth πŸ˜‡. I love her to bits except when she kills mice and birds but I know that cats are natural predators so it’s something that comes with the territory, so to speak. Xxx πŸ’ž

  6. Yes cat is the owner of the family so everything will go to it’s wish. Beautifully written ! Laughed a lot! πŸ€£πŸ˜πŸ˜…

    1. Thank you so much, Priti. I’m glad it made you laugh. Peanut definitely brightens up my life, although not so much as when she catches mice and birds! As I live alone, she is great company for me. Thank you for reading x 😊

    1. Thank you so much for reading my post, Frank. What a shame you can’t have cats where you live. They’re great company. My cat, Peanut, has been a bit spooked today as I have got decorators in and she’s not used to having noisy people in the house. I’ve given her extra treats and cuddles to try and keep her calm. She’s not impressed, though! Thanks for finding my blog – that’s very kind of you and much appreciated 😊.

    1. I can’t remember what age Peanut was when she became fully grown, more of a cat than a kitten. They all grow up – Peanut is quite a small cat. A friend of mine’s cat is huge by comparison. Kittens are adorable. Enjoy every minute with them.

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