Whispers to the Soul

“This was me before I knew about anything hard, when my whole life was packed lunches and art projects and spelling quizzes.”

― Nina LaCour, Hold Still


Rage screams out in silenced moments

Beating in her shattered heart

Muted words tell of her truths

Ripped her childhood years apart

~~~

Pain seared through her fragile figure

Like a sword sliced through her gut

Agony cut trenches in

To stop the screams with lips sewn shut

~~~

Innocence is lost in moments

Sins shut from the outside world

There she sits with guilty bruises

In a corner, tightly curled

~~~

She trembled as the torment came

Spoke whispers to her sacred soul

Crying out in stolen voices

Filled the gaping, bleeding hole

~~~

Keeping secrets nearly killed her

Suffocates her choking voice

Trapped and twisted honest truths

Ignoring pain, she had no choice.

37 thoughts on “Whispers to the Soul

    1. Thank you for your kindness, understanding and support while I’m in this place, Dwain. Writing, especially, is how I express my deepest feelings and begin to heal, although I know it will take some time and hard work in counselling on my part. Thank you for your encouragement with this, too … 🦢💜🕊

    1. Sometimes it’s difficult to transfer that evil to my perpetrator and not allow it to tarnish my childhood innocence in my mind. I feel the same about children who are being abused these days, although I think there is more help and support for them now (and their families assuming they are not responsible for the crime in the first place). Back then, parents or families/teachers etc. were told not to ever mentioned the abuse again, and that the child would, in time, forget all about it (as told in my recent poem, ‘Passage of Time’). I did not forget what happened, and never will; it’s just a case of coming to terms with it through my counselling. That’s what I’m working on at the moment, but it’ll take time to undo all the harm that was done to me at that time and to begin to heal. Thanks for your understanding and your comment, Sam. X 🦢💜🕊

    1. Thank you, Devang. Writing, especially poetry, is the way I will begin to heal. However, I don’t underestimate the time and energy this will take. Thanks for your understanding … Ellie 🦢

      1. Take your time. But, please don’t let anything consume you. You are strong person, I know that. If anything is bothering you, kindly share it with person you trust the most. 😃

      1. Because of what I perceive to be undiagnosed autism, I’m (so far) unable to be shocked. But left without a proper response is pretty common for me. I’m curious, is it cathartic for you to write this or is the jury still out. When I first started ‘sharing my secrets’ I felt horrible inside. Eventually, I got used to it and now I’m quite free. Your poetry is beautiful.

    1. Thank you so much, Kate. I appreciate your comment and your view. I’m having a tough time at the moment, as you will have realised by my dark poetry. It does help me to write, to get my feelings on paper rather than constantly spinning around and around in my mind. Thank you for your love – I can’t tell how much I appreciate that. Sending love to you, also. Xx 🦢💕🕊

  1. Wow, Ellie, this is so strong and so honest! Child abuse is the very worst sort of sin, and one that we all need to work to prevent. And as for the victims, they need compassion and support, not being told to keep their mouths shut…..You expressed the hopelessness and rage so very eloquently!

    1. Thank you for reading and being so understanding, Ann. I’m feeling very vulnerable, as I know you will appreciate. Everything I write is completely honest – I don’t know how to write any other way. As I’ve said recently, I can only write from my heart and soul. You are quite right in that victims of child abuse should be able to speak out, which I find aids healing, especially after being told as a young child to keep quiet about it, or, as the ‘grown-ups’ assumed at the time that I would simply forget about it. Unfortunately, as I know, that’s not the case. I’m seeing a good therapist now and am only beginning to deal with the suppressed rage. It’s not easy, though, for someone like myself, who rarely has an angry bone in my body. I guess it’s not too late to learn how to deal with anger healthily and not take it out on myself as I have done in the past. X

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read my poem, Priti. I appreciate that very much. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to express my feelings about the abuse when I was young. It’s only through good therapy that I’m learning to do this now. I do find writing poetry to be quite cathartic, so I’m hoping it will help with my healing. X 🦢

    1. Thank you very much for reading my poem and for your kindness in leaving me a comment. I am feeling very raw at the moment; however, I do find that writing my feelings down is cathartic. I’m gradually working on healing with the help of a good therapist, so am hoping I won’t always feel quite as fragile as I do at the moment. Thanks again X 🦢

  2. You are doing the hard work and this poem really is powerful. Those last lines are extremely strong. Sending you so much love. Nobody should have hurt that sweet little girl/you. Healing hug coming your way ❤️

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