Let my fears float away
in a hot air balloon
above the dark clouds
and up to the moon

All my pain and the anger
sent up to the sky
the winds blow them gently
as I watch them fly by

Rip up scarred words
and burn them with sage
watch them all wither
and releasing the rage

Try punching a pillow
or let out a scream
digging for gold
or my lost self-esteem

Bang on a drum
play music so loud
don’t need permission
it’s fine; it’s allowed

Write down my thoughts
draw out a sketch
pin them up on the wall
and take a deep breath

Let your grievances lapse
write a gratitude list
swaddle the hurting
while angels are kissed.

I’ve had a more positive day today, so it’s made a nice change and was quite some relief, too. I hope it lasts, but even if it’s just a little taster of how life could be, it’s been good to be able to write something a bit more upbeat.

I wrote this after having a conversation with my counsellor yesterday. She asked me, totally out of the blue, what I’d like to do with all my pain, trauma and nightmarish memories. On the spur of the moment, without giving it much thought, I just came out with, ‘I’d like to put them in a hot air balloon and let them float up to the sky until the balloon is completely out of view.’

(I’ve also just started reading a book by a WP blogging friend, Tamara. If you’re reading this, Tamara, thank you for all your support and for letting me know about your books. I can see so much of myself in them. If you’d like me to link you to this post, just contact me, and I’ll be more than happy to do so.)

I’ve just started to draw a sketch of my imaginary balloon. It’s too late to finish and post it here tonight, but if I get it finished by tomorrow, I’ll add it to this post then.

Not exactly a sketch, but a very amateur attempt at drawing/colouring a picture of a hot air balloon. As you can see, I’m not an expert at art!

Ellie Thompson

Author: Ellie Thompson

Writing my memoirs, musings, a little fiction and a lot of poetry as a way of exploring and making the most of my life ... ... Having had a break from writing my blog for more than three years, I decided to return to write my memoirs, some day-to-day observations, views and feelings. My passion is non-fiction poetry. I have a disability and use an electric powerchair called Alfie and let nothing get in the way of living life to the full. I believe that you can never do a kindness too soon and should give credit where credit is due. A smile or a kind word could make the difference between a good or bad day for a person - we never know what's going on for another soul. Those little things, perhaps, practised daily like a mantra, could mean so much to someone else. Thank you for visiting my blog and reading a little more about me. Please, make yourself at home here. You are very welcome. Ellie x 😊

48 thoughts on “Catharsis”

  1. It’s a great idea to spend everything in a hot air balloon, but then I don’t want it to come down ever again.
    Instead, I want to tie to a rocket πŸš€ and let it take to outer space.
    I love the poem, it shows some light. Keep searching for that light, and one day it will be yours.
    I also want to read tamara ma’am books πŸ™‚
    Need to see if paperback is available in India.
    Take care πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ”†

    1. Thank you for your encouraging comment, Devang. Yes, a rocket would be a good idea (as long as it doesn’t come down again). Thank you for liking my poem. I will keep searching for the light. If you contact Tamara on her WP website, I’m sure she will send you a link to her books. I used these and although the links took me to a US Amazon website, I checked out the title on the UK Amazon site and found I could get the books there. You might be find them in India. I do hope so as they are excellent books. Take care, too, my friend 🌞.

    1. Thank you, Ann. It was a relief to have a positive day yesterday. I hope it will last, although I think things will be tough after losing my therapist. I’m now getting some support through my very kind GP and mental health services as of this week. Thanks for your encouragement, Ann X

    1. Thank you so much, Granny. I’m glad it lifts your heart. You are such a wonderful friend. I will email you later as time run away with itself yesterday. Love you lots Xxx πŸ’–πŸŒΌπŸ’ž

    1. Aww – thank you, Penny. That’s a lovely thing to say. It was a relief to have a good day yesterday. Although I have some very tough times ahead of me, I hope I can hold on to some of this positivity. Xx πŸ’πŸ’š

  2. So happy you had a good day, My Dear!!! I’m hoping you will be able to string a few of these good days together!!

    There is a really great TED TALK on youtube that I like that has helped me you might want to check out – “Want To Be Happy? Be Grateful!”. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•πŸŒΉ

    1. Thank you so much, The Reluctant Poet. That’s very kind of you to say. I, too, am hoping for more days like yesterday. Today, so far, is relatively okay, so I’m making the most of it. Thanks for the information on the TED Talk on YouTube. I shall certainly search for that. X πŸ€—πŸŒ·πŸ’•

    1. New Mexico is know for the international balloon fiesta. It’s known for hot air balloons: they’re part of the culture ❀️

  3. What a wonderful writing Ellie 😊 what great imagery. To be able to put all the negative pain into a hot air balloon and send it into the universe where it belongs. Cute drawing too by the way. I hope you’re having a good day when you see this. Sending you lots of love. β€οΈπŸ’•πŸŽˆβ€οΈ

    1. Thank you very much, Jenn. It was just the first thing that came to mind when my counsellor asked me what I’d like to do with all my feelings and bad memories. I’m trying to hold on to the positivity I had when I wrote this poem, although today isn’t such a good day. I’m glad you liked my drawing, childlike as it is. Loads of love to you Xx πŸ’œπŸŒΌπŸ’–πŸŒ»πŸ’•πŸ€—

      1. You’re welcome Ellie. I’m sorry today isn’t a good day. I wish every day could be, for you, for me, for us all. You’re here and that’s all that matters in the end. Lots of love xx πŸ’œπŸŒΌ

  4. Ellie your poem made me think of Enya’s song ‘Orinoco Flow’ – drifting, floating away πŸ’›
    Great hot air balloon, cheerfully coloured too ✨
    Take care β˜•οΈx

    1. Hi Cherryl. I remember that song, too. Perhaps, I’ll listen to it again this afternoon. My balloon picture was very amateur so just a bit of fun, really. I hope you are well. I read your recent blog post, but want to read it again. Hopefully, I’ll have more time over the next few days. Hugs Xx πŸ’œπŸ’πŸ’›

  5. Yes! I love the image of floating them all up in a hot air balloon, far away from you. Never to return. I wonder if you could write yourself into a story of it happening. What does the pain look like? A black shape? A monster? How do you release the balloon? Do you cut a rope with a large pair of scissors? Or use a golden-edged sword? Where does it go? Does it slam into an asteroid? Is it sucked into a black-hole?

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, Bridgette. What delightful ideas. I will give them a lot of thought. Fiction isn’t my strong point, but it’s certainly worth thinking around your ideas, which are wonderfully imaginative. It’s definitely something I will think about doing. Thanks so much again. Xx πŸ’›πŸ’πŸ’›

  6. I thought I had clicked “post comment” but apparently I hadn’t!

    Ellie, thanks for the shout-out! I’m sure you’re well on your way, and hope your journey will be as smooth as sailing in a hot air balloon! What a wonderful image!

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