It’ll be six years soon; I lost my dear Mum
Counting the years, five fingers, one thumb
No Christmas together, as too far away
Missing each other on this special day
We could have been sad, both so alone
But giggles (and tears) made their way down the phone
We chatted at breakfast and chatted at dinner
Turkey or nut loaf; the loaf was the winner
Opening presents that had come in the post
Mum sipping a sherry and sharing a toast
Me with an alcohol-free sparkling wine
Sober year count more than eight or nine
Reading our cards to each other out loud
Many have come from the family crowd
Dinner now ready, so we stopped to eat
Cranberry sauce; still good without meat
Christmas pudding came next, of course
Vegan cream, custard but no brandy sauce
Crackers, for one, were out of the question
I’ve eaten too much, and I’ve got indigestion
The TV is on showing Morecambe and Wise*
Jokes and throwing custard pies
Somehow, it’d got to quarter past eight
No washing up done and getting late
I’m alone once again this Christmas Day
But on Monday, the children will come and play
My wishes to all are full of good cheer
So, Happy Christmas and a great New Year.
(FOR MUM WITH LOVE – RIP 30/12/16)
(* Morecambe and Wise was a popular Christmas comedy programme in the UK years ago).
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
Essentially Ellie 
Just love this.
Good memories.
xxxxxx
Thank you, Granny. Although Mum and I were both alone every Christmas, we did have some lovely memories, too. I certainly remember them that way, and I’m sure my Mum would think the same if she were still with me. Love you Xxxx 💖🎄🎉💞
Aww Ellie, this is so beautiful. You really are a gifted writer because this gave me goosebumps. The happy-and-sad kind. I’m glad kids will be around on Monday to make some noise but please know you’ve also got all your friends online over the Christmas weekend. I hate to think of you feeling alone but of course nothing will make the heartache of not being able to talk to your mum any less. She would smile at your poem and love every word, I’m sure. Especially the part where you explained what Morecambe and Wise was to those who’re too young (sadly not me) or not in the UK 😆
Sending lots of love your way,
Merry Christmas 🎄🎄🎄
xxxxxxx
Thank you so much, Caz. I’m glad you liked it, even if it did give you goosebumps. Christmas Day will be very quiet, but I may write something more on my blog. I have bought a vegan Christmas dinner for myself but will have to be strict and cook it rather than just having beans on toast for ease. It’s a bit of a bother cooking a special dinner for one. My son and the children are coming on Boxing Day, which will be lovely as they are quite young and very excited. On Tuesday, my daughter, son-in-law and the girls (a bit older) will be here. I haven’t seen them since last August! I will miss my Mum a lot, as I always do, especially at Christmas. We always were both alone on this day, but we made the most of it, as I described in this poem. They were happy memories. How are you doing at the moment, Caz? I haven’t seen a post from you for quite a while. I wish you a wonderful Christmas and hope that the New Year brings you joy, good health (hopefully) and peace. Lots of love to you … Ellie Xxxxx 💗🎄💕🎅💕🎄💗
Loved this, Ellie!
Your mother must be very happy and proud, in the parallel world.
Merry Christmas!
Sending good wishes your way😊
Thank you very much, Vidah. I like to think she would enjoy my poem. Thank you, too, for your good wishes. Hoping you have a lovely Christmas, and that the New Year is a good one for you. X 🎄😊🎅
Thank you, Ellie❤
Wonderful memories. Make some more this festive period. Merry Christmas Ellie.
Thank you, Andrew. Although I’m alone on Christmas Day (I will probably use the time to write something here), my son and the children will be coming on Boxing Day and my daughter and family are coming on Tuesday. I guess I’ll just have my Christmas a day or two later than everyone else. I’m looking forward to seeing them all again, as I don’t see much of them during the year. I wish you a very Happy Christmas and hope that the New Year brings everything you wish for. (I’m glad I found your blog). 🎄
MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎅 glad you found my blog too!
Beautiful Ellie!!!
It’s so hard losing someone you love so much, but after some time has passed, I always think, wasn’t I lucky to have had that person in my life? They made it so much richer.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas. You are a special lady!! Hope the kids fill your heart with joy on Monday!!
Thanks so much, Sarah. Yes, you’re right; although I still miss my Mum greatly, we made some lovely memories between us, and I’m very grateful for that. Thanks, too, for your kind words. I’m so looking forward to the children all being here. Lots of noise but lots of fun – just how it should be at Christmas; just a day late, in my case, but my son and the children are staying over on Boxing night, which will be lovely as I get to read them bedtime stories (the children, that is, not my son 😁). Merry Christmas. Xx 🎄💓🎅
He might listen in too!!!
😁 xxxxxx
I can only imagine how proud your mother would be to read this Ellie. I also can imagine how much of a beautiful soul she was. You’ve honored your mother so honorably Ellie. I hope you have such a beautiful and wonderful Merry Christmas Ellie! Don’t forget how beautiful you’re this holiday season Ellie.
Much love and healing hugs of Christmas cheer straight to your beautiful soul! ❤️💖❤️💖❤️💖❤️💖❤️💖🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
– Christopher ❤️🌹
Thank you so much, Christopher. My Mum was a very special person and so much loved. We were very close even though we weren’t able to visit each other for many years. It was mainly that my Mum’s house wasn’t wheelchair accessible; there were a steep flight of steps at the front of the house. Also, Mum had agoraphobia, which meant she couldn’t leave the house at all. She had that right the way through my child and adulthood. We sort of got used to the situation being the way it was, but we spoke on the phone every day, sometimes more than once. I like to think she would have enjoyed my poem. Hoping you have a wonderful Christmas and that the New Year brings all you need it to. With my love and gentle hugs … Ellie Xxx 💖💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💝💝💝💝💝
Counting the years, five fingers, one thumb
All on one hand? Polydactic?
It is wonderful to hear you have good memories of your mother, and of Christmas on the phone.
I wish you the best of the season — all year round!
I hear England is experiencing electrical blackouts, 6 hours on, 6 hours off. I hope this is not affecting you. Six hours with no heat cannot be a fun time, especially living alone. So sending you 6 hours of cuddles, usable whenever you need them.
Sorry about the iralics, that was just supposed to be just for the 1st line. But Word Press got carried away, I guess.
Don’t worry about the italics. I didn’t even know you could find italics when commenting on a blog or replying to the comment. I don’t seem to have that facility within my WP blog. Ah, perhaps, you write your comments in Word or something similar and then copy and paste them here? I guess that would work. I’d be interested to know. WordPress does play some silly games sometimes. Xx 🤗💗
No. I use machine language commands. To use italics or bold in comments put these symbols around a word or words . In the front place an i or a b, and in the back place a /i or a /b. To do both at the same time use in front and back,, but put the i first and then the b second in the front and in the back put the b first and the i second. I cannot show you the complete symbols because the program will do this: message. Whatever you want italicized or bolded goes in between the >type here< parts of the symbols. Someomeone taught me how to do this, and it took a bit to catch on, but it works in comments. Writing posts the commands are right there for you.
‘Five fingers, one thumb’ – just a little poetic licence 😉. We’re not having blackouts in the UK, but I have two blogging friends, one in Texas and one is South Africa who are experiencing this. It must be awful. I don’t have much heating on anyway because of the prices having skyrocketed recently, and being unable to afford it. Nevertheless, your cuddles are extremely welcome and will keep me warm long distance. Sending you fond hugs Xx 🤗 💗💞🤗
A fellow blogger from Yorkshire tells me he is having government-regulated blackouts. Something is wrong somewhere, but I am glad to hear you are not. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Lovely ode to your mum! Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Very nice tribute. I hope you have a nice Christmas.
Thanks, Greg. I hope your Christmas is a good one, too.
And a very Happy Christmas to you too, Ellie. We can share long distance nut roasts!
Thanks, Mick. It’s good to find another nut loaf fan. Is it just for you or do your whole family eat it. You hear so many jokes about vegans eating nut loaves, but I do love it with cranberry sauce and onion gravy. I’ve even managed to get vegan pigs in blankets. Merry Christmas to you and your family, too, Mick. See you on the other side. X 🎄
My wife and I will both have it – I’m the vegetarian – as it will only be the two of us for Christmas day. One of my daughters and her family are also vegetarian, though, so were they here we’d have the same. And yes, I’m very fond of it, especially with a rich onion sauce!
Merry Christmas!
It’s hard when we no longer have the people we love in our lives. Last year my dad died, and this year my father-in-law and sister-in-law died. I’m glad you have such lovely memories to hold on to ….
Oh, I’m so, so sorry you lost so many family members in such a short space of time. I feel for you so much. I hope you have some nice memories of them all. I hope you can get through the holidays without too much sadness. Sending you Christmas love and hugs, Ann. I’ll be thinking of you Xx 💝💕💝
💕💕💕
It’s hard but good to think about the memories,
It is hard, yes, but good to remember the nice things.
What a lovely tribute to your mother! Cherish those memories….
Thank you, Ann. There are so many things about Mum that I have happy memories of, and for that, I’m very grateful. X
What a lovely poem about your mum! Sounds like you both had some beautiful traditions.
Thanks, Bridgette. Yes, we did have some lovely things we used to do together even though we couldn’t see each other for so many years because of MUm’s house being inaccessible and Mum having severe agoraphobia, which meant she couldn’t leave the house. My Mum meant the world to me. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Mum’s passing. It won’t be an easy day, but I will try to remember all the lovely things we shared and spoke about. Xx 🌻💕
I am thinking of you today. I’d love to hear more memories of your mom if you’d like to share them. Sounds like you had a close bond.
I will definitely think about writing more about my relationship with my lovely Mum. I mentioned in a previous reply to you, that I might do that tomorrow as it’s the sixth anniversary of my Mum’s passing and that’s always a tough day for me. Xx 💗
Love you beautiful friend. Xx
Aww … thank you, Ahni. I love you, too. I hope you are well. Xx 💞
Tears in my eyes as I read this. Sending you warm hugs, Ellie xxxx
Thank you for your kind comment, Janet. I miss my Mum every Christmas. I don’t think it’s ever something you get over, given that she passed away only a few days after Christmas Day. Thank you so much for your warm hugs – they are very gratefully received and comforting.
Sorry I missed some of your posts over the last couple of days. I wasn’t well yesterday, and although I said I would take a break from reading so many blogs, I can’t quite resist looking at my favourites, yours amongst them. I will try to keep up, but I probably won’t catch up with the ones I missed up to yesterday. I often have time to read and like posts, but I’m not always able to leave comments for everyone. Sending hugs to you, too. Xxx 💓🌼💕
I think you’re absolutely beautiful inside and out. Please don’t feel you have to comment on all my posts, I treasure the times you DO comment, especially with everything you’re going through. I’ll take time to read your blogs over the past few days and I’m SO GLAD you’re writing again!!!
On a sadder note, I’m so sorry your Mom isn’t around in person, especially on occasions like Christmas. I lost my Dad in June 2021 and that 1st Christmas without him, I cried all day. My heart goes out to you. I pray we’ll both learn to treasure what we had with our parents and that the grief will slowly become more manageable as the years go by xx
Oh, thank you, Janet. You are so kind to me. I enjoy your posts even if I’m not able to comment.
I’m so sorry you lost your Dad so recently. It must have been a really tough Christmas for you, too. They say the first anniversary of everything (Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day etc.) are the hardest, although I’m not sure if the pain lessens much. Today is my Mum’s birthday. She would have been 92. My father died ten years ago, but he wasn’t a nice man at all, and I can’t say that I miss him. Grief is painful to bear. Thank you for your prayers for both of us that it will become more bearable with time. Thinking of you with love Xxx 💖🌹💖
Oh Ellie, I feel like with you, I’ve met a forever friend, I really do. I’m so sad you can’t see your Mom on her birthday, that must hurt so deeply.
I hadn’t realised how much of my Dad’s personality is weaved through the things I say, do and believe in. Ok I’m crying now. Great. I really believe our parents are part of the fabric of our lives so when people meet me, I like to think they’re getting an echo of my Dad.
I believe you are probably a lot like your Mom in your gentle nature, kindness, beautiful spirit and STRENGTH. Omg you are a WARRIOR…in this, I feel like I got to meet your Mom today. She’s wonderful and I totally get why you’d grieve her loss xx
Thank you so much for your beautiful words, Janet. I feel we have much in common and I feel comfortable ‘talking’ to you. It’s natural to cry when we are remembering our loved ones, although I’m not sure I ever managed to grieve for my dear Mum properly. My tears flowed on the morning she died, and on the day of her funeral, but rarely since then. I carry a lot of guilt about that I’m hoping, if and when I get given another counsellor, that this will be one of the things I need to look at and face. It never stops being painful, though. It’s surprising how much like our parents we are. I love your description of your friends getting an echo of your Dad. I’m very like my Mum – I even find myself coming out with a phrase that Mum used to say, and it almost sounds like my Mum’s voice speaking. I think you’d love my Mum, and I’m sure I would feel the same about your dear Dad. Sending you so many comforting hugs, my friend. Xxx 💗🤗💗
Crying hard and reading your beautiful response through a torrent of tears. Thank you so much, Ellie. I pray God’s comfort and peace upon you and that one day you’ll get to have “the BIG cry” where you can really connect with your grief and let some of it out. It hasn’t caught up to me yet…I’m still in disbelief that my Dad is gone. He died overseas and we never had a funeral so in my mind, that’s justification that he’s wondering around the Philippines with his big smile, making friends as he always did and occasionally asking “Have you seen my wife?”
I feel it’s still early days for you, Janet. There are many stages of grief, denial or disbelief is, I believe, one of the first stages. I know that acceptance comes to us somewhere along the line, too. It varies with each individual. I’m so sorry to hear you couldn’t have a funeral for your Dad – it’s not surprising you are feeling the way that you do. It’s almost like there is a loss of an ending as well as the loss of your Dad. It’s lovely that you can have those thoughts about him wandering around the Philippines with a big smile. I think, with me, the hardest thing to accept was that my Mum died alone with no one to hold her hand. I’ll never know those last moments with her and it causes me a lot of guilt, pain and remorse with many unanswered questions. It haunts me. Xxx 💗😢💗
Oh my heart…that is devastating for you 😞 I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Ellie xxxx
Thank you, Janet. It’s something I don’t feel I’ll ever be able to let go of. Perhaps, when and if I get to the top of the queue to see another counsellor, I might be able to talk to her about this. It’s going to be several months wait, though. Big hugs for you Xxx 💖💞💝