Lonely This Christmas

‘Lonely this Christmas’, the song sung originally by Elvis Presley. Here, sung by MUD. Lyrics shown below text.

It’s Christmas Day, and here I am, sitting all alone
while my son plays happy families at his ex-girlfriend’s home*
I woke this morning – early – as I very often do
feeling pessimistic, low in mood and deeply blue

No cards on the table or presents on the chair
No tree in the corner, no tinsel; do I care?
I speak sternly to myself, for does it really matter
I’ve eaten all the mince pies and am only getting fatter

I miss talking to my Mum so frequently today
She passed away six years ago, almost to the day
I miss our laughs, shared over long-distance cups of tea
My heart hurts without her, my darling bonne amie

I cooked a Christmas dinner; I ate enough for two
I really should have guessed it; that’s what I always do
I haven’t had my pudding yet, served with vegan cream
I’m bursting at the seams because I go to the extreme

My friend was going to phone me, but she hasn’t got the time
so I replied, ‘don’t worry – I’ll be absolutely fine’
I’m sure that she believed me, my every single word
But I knew that my sentiments had gone totally unheard

Pull yourself together, girl; it’s really not that bad
I’ve plenty to be grateful for; I ought not to be sad
I wonder if the future holds any more of the same
I honestly don’t want to play this lonely, tired game

Peanut [cat] isn’t well; she’s completely off her food
Or perhaps, she is only picking up on my sombre mood
I’m longing for my bedtime to finish this long day
Tomorrow will be better when the children come to play.


* Explanation for this line …

I really don’t know what I’ve done wrong this year. I feel very excluded and ignored this Christmas. My son, Tom, is separating from his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend). He’s found a new partner whom he loves very much, and they are buying a new house together. Tom and his ex. have been trying to sell their house, but it’s proving difficult in this present economic climate.

For no apparent reason, Tom decided to spend Christmas with his ex., his ex’s three adult girls and his ex’s parents. I met them all before on a previous Christmas Day about four years ago. We all got on okay. I don’t understand why I wasn’t included this year – I just know that it hurts – it hurts very much. Tom only has the children every other year, so the next Christmas I can spend with them will be in two years’ time. By then, my granddaughter will be at secondary school! Children grow up so quickly.

LYRICS

Try to imagine a house that’s not a home
Try to imagine a Christmas all alone
That’s where I’ll be
Since you left me
My tears could melt the snow
What can I do
Without you
I’ve got no place, no place to go

It’ll be lonely this Christmas
Without you to hold
It’ll be lonely this Christmas
Lonely and cold
It’ll be cold so cold
Without you to hold
This Christmas

Each time I remember the day you went away
And how I would listen to the things you had to say
I just break down, as I look around
And the only things I see
Are emptiness and loneliness
And an unlit Christmas Tree

It’ll be lonely this Christmas
Without you to hold
It’ll be lonely this Christmas
Lonely and cold
It’ll be cold so cold
Without you to hold
This Christmas

You remember last year, when you and I were together
We never thought there’d be an end
And I remember looking at you then
And I remember thinking that Christmas must have been made for us
‘Cause darlin’, this is the time that you really need love
When it means so very very much

So it’ll be lonely this Christmas
Without you to hold
It’ll be so very lonely
Lonely and cold

It’ll be lonely this Christmas
Without you to hold
It’ll be lonely this Christmas
Lonely and cold
It’ll be cold so cold
Without you to hold
This Christmas

Merry Christmas darlin’, wherever you are

44 thoughts on “Lonely This Christmas

  1. I’m sorry you’re so alone this year. I’m basking in a few minutes of quiet before returning to Susan’s father’s house to sidle up to fifteen people in a mix of revelry and bereavement. You ask ‘does it matter?’ Yes if you’re lonely it does. I hope tomorrow is an absolutely fantastic day for you with your grandkids. And soon we can put all of this holiday nonsense behind us. I can’t think of any other time of the year so ladled with expectation. A few weeks ago I wrote an ode to ‘ordinary’. I’d love a little bit of ordinary right now. Be well.

    1. Thank you, Jeff. I thought of you and your family several times yesterday. How are you coping? It must have been rather emotional getting through the day when you feel sad, but then, as you say, Christmas is full of expectations and anything that doesn’t live up to the hype is considered almost abnormal. I liked your ‘Ordinary’ post. My situation was silly; if it hadn’t been Christmas Day yesterday, I would have been fine being alone. The fact that there wasn’t even anyone to talk to didn’t help. I looked out the window and thought of my son playing happy families, and that made me feel totally isolated. Still, Tom and the children will be mid-late afternoon today, so at least I’ll have some company for a few hours, which will be lovely. Thanks for caring, Jeff. I appreciate that a lot. I hope you and Susan are coping the best you can at such a difficult time. X

      1. I hope your experience with family today is/was wonderful. Things are pretty rough here. Susan is still sick with Covid and she’s not taking great care of herself (too much activity). Here, we’re starting to get into that period where the shock wears off and everyone starts to realize this is forever. And people inclined towards frayed nerves are getting frayed nerves. The funeral mass is Wednesday and then everyone will go home, and we’ll all start adjusting to our new situation. I’m thinking about you too.

      2. Dear Jeff, I’m so sorry Susan is still sick on top of everything she and your family are having to deal with at such a difficult and sad time. I remember that numbness that protects you for the first few days, and I remember what it feels like when reality begins to set in. It’s such a tough time for you all. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially at this time of year. I totally understand the irritation you must all feel – suddenly, we’re thrust into the middle of a combination of disbelief, shock, grief and heartache. I’m glad you don’t have to wait too long for the funeral mass. With my Mum, it was on the 30th of December and because, for some reason, so many people die around Christmas time, we couldn’t have my Mum’s funeral for two weeks. I can really feel for you. Once the funeral has taken place, I found the numbness continued, almost in disbelief of my loss. It protected me from the real sense of pain and grief for quite a while. However, everyone’s experiences are different.

        Thank you so much for thinking of me on top of everything else you have to cope with. That is so kind of you. I’ve been thinking about you, too.

        Today is a bank holiday here. My son and the children were here yesterday afternoon and overnight, which was lovely. I did try discussing my distress about Christmas Day with Tom after the children were in bed, but just couldn’t engage him in the conversation. Door and banging my head against comes to mind. Today, my daughter and family are coming over and we’re going out for lunch. I haven’t seen them since last August and haven’t seen one of the eldest girls for nearly a year! It’ll be lovely to catch up with them.

        I do hope you manage to get through another difficult day today, my friend – I can imagine how busy you are with trying to make arrangements for the funeral and guests coming. You are in my heart. X

    1. Thank you so much, Pamelap. It’s so kind of you to think of me on such a busy day. It’s so much appreciated. I hope your day was good and that you are in good health today. Sending love 💕and hugs 🤗, also. Xx 💜💖💜

      1. Thank you my dear! 🙏😇
        I’m doing well, thankful indeed to be in good health! I have much in my heart to share in this new year and wanting to to send my love and blessings to you! You have been such inspiration to me throughout this year!! You are so loved and appreciated!
        💝💝

      2. I’m glad you’re well, Pamelap. It’s always good to get things off your chest and if that’s through your writing, I understand. Thank you for being so generous in your reply. Sending much love to you Xx 💖🌼💝

      1. I don’t blame you. In my experience, sons can be a bit clueless about these sort of things, but if you tell them what you need from them, then they deliver. I hope that is true in this situation too!

      2. Thank you for understanding my feelings, Ann. They’ve been here yesterday and overnight and although I tried to have a conversation about Christmas, it was a bit like banging my head on a door! Nevertheless, I enjoyed having them all here and today my daughter, son-in-law and the girls are coming up and we’re going out for lunch. I haven’t seen them since August and one of the girls, I’ve not seen for a year. It’ll be lovely to catch up with them. X

  2. It will be Monday when you read this. I hope your visitors are still coming today. (The story of your son has me confused, is he the one who is supposed to be coming today? Or is that a different son. I do hope you are not alone today. 💜💙💜💚💜💙💜

    1. I agree, it’s a confusing situation. I have just that one son (and a daughter, who is coming tomorrow). My son has, to all intents and purposes, split up with his ex-girlfriend and they each lead their separate lives. They’re trying to sell their house, but the market is very slow, so they have to put up with living in the same house, although they don’t really get on anymore. I did offer to have my son and the children at my house for Christmas Day, but for some reason, he chose to spend it their joint house with his ex’s family, rather than coming to visit me (even for a couple of hours, which would have been nice and appreciated). He is coming to me today, but not until later. They are sleeping over but have to leave early in the morning for Tom to get them back to their mother (Tom’s ex-wife). I know that’s a complicated explanation, so I’ve probably made the whole thing as clear as mud! Relationships are difficult. X 💚💜💛💗💛💜💚

      1. Relationships are seldom easy, but living together after a split is a volatile situation. Definitely not recommended. That is all I will say about that.
        The main thing is, you won’t be alone all day today, and tomorrow you will be with your daughter and her family. Enjoy those times as much as you can. Take a lot of mental photographs. Once you have them, you have them forever.

      2. I can understand why you say the situation with their breakup is volatile. It certainly is. Yesterday, Boxing Day, my son and the children were here from the afternoon and overnight. It was wonderful see them again. I love my little ones so much. I didn’t take any photos as I want them to be aware that I was giving them my full attention and joining their excitement of unwrapping their presents. I wanted to be ‘present’ with them rather than be stuck behind my phone taking constant photos. I will always remember, in my mind, the expressions on their little faces. Today is a bank holiday today and my daughter, son-in-law and the girls are coming up to have lunch together. I haven’t seen them for many months, so I can’t wait to see them all again. I hope you have a good day today, my friend. X 💙💜💙

      3. LOL. My personal motto: Every day is a good day for me, even the bad ones. I’m alive and able to enjoy something, be it big or be it small. Life is too precious to waste it.
        So have a good day with the girls, and their mom and dad. And create more memories for yourself and them. 🤎💜💛💚💙💙💚💛💜🤎

      4. Thanks, J. I had a lovely day with my daughter, son-in-law and the girls, who are 16 and 13 now. Where does the time go – they grow up so quickly. We had a good lunch out and then, came home for coffee and chatted. It was so good to see them again. Very precious times X 💚💜💚💙💚💜💚💙💚💜💚💙💚

  3. You want me to cry or what now?
    You are never alone.
    Yes, you maybe alone physically, but you have a beautiful community with you, you are never alone dear friend.
    New year will bring new hopes, new sunshine and and new reason to smile.
    Yes, you had a terrible time, But I am sure, things will be better soon.
    Keep shining

    1. Thank you, Devang. I do realise I have a lovely community of friends here on WP, but there’s nothing like spending Christmas Day with your family and being excluded as I was really hurts. I wish you a good week (it’s Boxing Day here and a Bank Holiday tomorrow). I know you don’t celebrate Christmas, but I hope you had a good weekend anyway. My son and the children are coming later, and the children have their presents to open, so that will make for a happy evening.

      1. Thanks for your encouragement, Devang. That’s kind of you. I had a nice day yesterday and last night when my son and children stayed here. Today, I’m meeting my daughter and family, who I haven’t seen since last August. I’m looking forward to that.

  4. Ellie, my friend, I want to write you, but don’t know how. I have felt your words here most deeply. I understand. There are some things that hurt deep and thence become too deep for words. Like, we wonder, will anyone understand? Really? So, yes, I know this season is dark for you, and, I know too that we can still be beautiful in our sad melancholy, my dear friend.

    Again. I understand you. I owe you a “letter” soon through email. I’ll write more and freely there. Soon. Warmest hug! Love.

    1. Hello, dear Thompson. I’m sorry to have taken time to get back to you. Having had a really miserable and unhappy Christmas Day, I then spent yesterday and last night with my son and small grandchildren, which was lovely. The children had all their presents to open and were so excited. Today, which is a bank holiday here, my daughter, son-in-law and the two older girls came and we had lunch out; then, came home for coffee and to catch up some more. I hadn’t seen them since last August so it was great to spend some time with them.

      Everyone has gone home now, and I feel reluctant to leave behind the jollities of the holidays. But I know that, by bedtime, reality will have struck again, and I’ll be left to deal with all the pain and heartache of losing my therapist on the 4th of January. She’s not there tomorrow, so I have one week exactly until that day that I dread.

      You are so kind to ask how to write to me. I would be very appreciative and am honoured that you would like to get in touch with me. The best way to do this is to go to the top of any of my blog pages and you will see ‘Contact Me’ at the top. If you click on that, it will open up a chat box, which you can that write a message into. This will come directly into my inbox and I can then reply to you so that you will have my email address. I hope that makes sense.

      I hope you are well today, and that you have had a good Christmas. New Year will be upon us soon. Where does the time go!? Much love 💕 to you, and gentle hugs 🤗X

      1. Ellie, I just recalled I didn’t get back to this. Sorry. I’ll follow the guidelines you’ve given me above and will write you hopefully after the New Year’s.

        Thank you most kindly for writing me.

        Also, I have a “present” for you in my last post. 🙂 Love & hug.

      2. Dear Thompson, please don’t worry about rushing to reply. I know how busy everyone is at the moment, so just when you have time will be lovely. I’ve just seen your last post and my name mentioned and about to reply to that there. Big Hugs, too X 🤗

    1. Thank you so much, Stacey. That’s very kind of you. I’m just waiting for my son and the children to arrive – they’re running late, but are staying over tonight, so I will see them briefly in the morning before they have to leave. I’m looking forward to seeing them. I hope your Christmas has been peaceful and enjoyable. Xx 💖💕

    1. Thank you, tallisman. I had a lovely day with my son and grandchildren here yesterday and last night. Today, my daughter and the girls are coming up and we’re going out for lunch. Thanks for thinking of me – that’s kind.

  5. I’m sorry you are alone and that your son made such a confusing choice. I don’t know what your relationship is like, but I’d suggest going out to lunch after the New Year and explaining to him how his actions hurt you. He may not quite realize it and he may also be simply trying to please everyone in his life. Sometimes it’s not what you think when you prod deeper.

    Sending you lots of love!

    1. Sorry, I somehow missed this comment earlier, Bridgette. I appreciate your understanding. I did manage to have a short conversation with my son on Boxing Day night after the children had gone to bed. I think he understood how it felt for me to be excluded on Christmas Day. I’ve just written a poem about those two family days. They were a late celebration of Christmas for us. Tom was here on Boxing Day and overnight and then Claire and family were here on Tuesday. It’s been lovely seeing them and my four grandchildren, even if it was later in the holidays. I can’t find your comment right now, but I’m fairly sure it was you who suggested writing about my belated Christmas with my children. I’m grateful to you for that suggestion as I have done that.

      I’ve no idea how I’ll feel tomorrow as it’s the anniversary of my Mum’s passing and I always find that day so difficult. Perhaps, I’ll write a bit more about her and our relationship. Much love to you, my friend Xx 💝

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