A Momentous Day – The Big One (The Biodiversity March) – Extinction Rebellion (XR)

We don’t inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.

David Brower

Oh, wow! What an amazing day! Those who have read my last few posts will know I went to London on Saturday to join the vast Extinction Rebellion Biodiversity March and to protest against our government for continuing to plough enormous amounts of money into new fossil fuel industries along with their total lack of responsibility for climate injustice and destroying our world. They don’t give a damn about killing our planet, nature and people all over the world. The first-world countries are the ones who are causing the majority of the damage, but it’s the third-world countries who suffer the most. I could get very political about this, but I wouldn’t have the space to tell you about my experience. The protest is for four days, sadly, today being the last.

Lots of us from my local XR group set off at 7.30am to catch an early train into London. The journey for me as a wheelchair user was pretty horrendous there and back. However, every struggle along the route was well worth it.

For Earth Day on Saturday and the Biodiversity march, many people dressed up as different aspects of nature; animals of all sorts, plants and flowers, etc. (I have shared some photos, as you can see, just to give you an idea of the feel of the event.) People’s ingenuity and imagination were quite remarkable. We walked (or rode, in my case) for a mile, mainly around The Houses of Parliament and St James’s Park. On that day, there were, believe it or not, 90,000 rebels, including people from other climate-concerned groups! It was the biggest protest in the country, and the passion was tangible.

The drumming, which is what I was doing as we marched along, was fantastic. Although I got someone to take some photos of the band and I, I am unable to share them as I can’t share close-up pictures of the friends I was with. I just loved being part of such an enormous and passionate band.

The people dressed in white are all scientists, some well-known, who are far more knowledgeable about the future of our planet than our government. Where you can see thousands of people lying down on the road, this is what we call a ‘die-in’ – it lasts fifteen minutes, and it represents all the deaths our world will experience if we don’t stop killing everything and polluting our world – plants, animals, fish, trees etc. Believe it or not, 40% of all creatures have now perished, and many species are now endangered. I could talk more about this, but this would be an extremely long post! What really concerns us is that my and all our children will suffer the most as the future doesn’t look like it’s getting better in our generation. I find this thought very distressing.

I should add that XR worked closely with the police to make this a wonderful, totally peaceful protest. In fact, there were very few police officers about, as we weren’t doing anything harmful or causing damage.

After the most wonderful day, things began to wind up around 6pm. My friends and I went to a local London pub for drinks (non-alcoholic in my case) and chips; we were all ravenous by then. We then headed home by train and finally got home at nearly midnight! Yesterday, I could still hear the sound of the drums in my ears and had to recover from the very worthwhile exhaustion that followed.

I should add that no damage was done to anything or anyone in the course of the day. The Marathon was on yesterday, and we didn’t interrupt them as the press had said we would. We were actually cheering them on, which they all appreciated. Unfortunately, the right-wing press pick out any little event to make XR look bad, and in fact, there was hardly any positive coverage in any of the papers or many news programmes.

Finally (and probably a contentious issue), I couldn’t let this post go without mentioning two courageous Just Stop Oil rebels from another climate-concerned organisation, Morgan and Marcus. They desperately tried to raise awareness of the climate emergency by climbing above the Queen Elizabeth Bridge in the UK, blocking the road for 40 hours. They were both found guilty and were sentenced in the Crown Court (usually used for murder. rape, and manslaughter cases) on Friday to three years and two years, seven months in jail, respectively, having already served six months there. The judge stated he was ‘making an example’ of them to deter other people from taking action against the climate emergency. We are appalled about this unfair decision. You can get less time for burglary, and yet the government is responsible for numerous deaths by their inaction, and we don’t see them locked up, do we!? That’s food for thought.

Raring To Go – Earth Day – The Big One

Tomorrow is Earth Day. Many of my friends in Extinction Rebellion (XR) have set off by coach today, heading for London. I am going there tomorrow, my journey beginning at 6am meaning an early night tonight. We are NOT intending to disrupt the people on the street, but we are gathering around the Houses of Parliament to try to get the urgent message to our politicians, regarding the climate emergency, as recognised by eminent scientists and, of course, the famous and very knowledgeable David Attenborough.

This will be a peaceful gathering with over 30,000 protesters, including over 200 other climate-concerned groups. XR have NO plans to disrupt the London Marathon tomorrow or the Mini Marathon today. We can’t speak for climate protesters from other prominent organisations, such as Insulate Britain and Just Stop Oil etc., as when things go wrong, it is always XR who, unfairly, get the blame. We can’t control the actions of other groups, but I hope they will have the same responsible attitude as us.

I am one of the many drummers from XR, and fortunately, I got my drum secondhand. It was just plain brown wood when I got it, so I decorated it using paints, stencils and stickers. It took me four days to complete it (see photo.) The image of the turtle and the bees represent our dying wildlife. The fish in the ocean are there because our oceans worldwide are polluted by sewage, plastics and vast, abandoned fishing nets.

Being a wheelchair user, as I am, is going to make my participation very challenging. I will have to find places to recharge my wheelchair, as there is a family-friendly nature march tomorrow, and I will, in general, be covering a good few miles. I will travel with my large drum on my lap on the train to London. I’ve never attempted this before. Today, I am preparing to pack everything up ready for my early start in the morning. We are all taking mugs, bowls and reusable cutlery, plus bags to take home our rubbish, as we have no intention of leaving our litter behind. Sometimes, the Hare Krishna people are there with hot food to offer. We are grateful to them.

I will stop here, as I have sooo much to get ready, as you can imagine. I am so excited. I appreciate people have differing views about Extinction Rebellion, but we see no other option, other than to target the government because we are desperately frightened for the future of our children, grandchildren and subsequent generations, who will be affected far more than we already are.

Thank you for reading. Wish me luck (if you wish).

Once again, I do apologise for not being able to read your blogs at this time. Please, be assured that I will get back into the swing of WordPress after the event. My love to you all. Ellie Xx 🌎🌹💚

My Past Experience of Anorexia


TRIGGER WARNING – THIS IS ABOUT EATING DISORDERS (ANOREXIA)

This account is purely about my own experience of anorexia. This disease affects all sexes, not just women. It can also affect people of any age group. In my case, I was in my forties when it began. Treatment these days may well be different; I don’t know. If you are struggling with an eating disorder or suspect you may be, please seek help from your doctor or any of the helpline numbers given at the end of this post.

Anorexia isn’t about the food; it’s about control. I wanted to control my life but thought if I could control my body and weight, I’d start to feel better. How wrong I was.

It started with me cutting out fats and carbs like many people on diets. I began to lose weight and felt like I was achieving something. As I lost weight, I still wasn’t satisfied, though, convincing myself I was overweight and needed to lose just a few more pounds. I lost more weight, but I still wasn’t content. I began to develop rituals around food, such as cutting food up into tiny pieces to make them last longer or seem more and, weighing everything I ate, then totting up the calories. I stopped drinking coffee with milk and drank only black coffee and Diet Coke. Still not satisfied; eating salad wasn’t enough to control my habit. I began to weigh the lettuce, water well shaken out of it, and work out the calories in three thin slices of cucumber. The weight started to drop off me, but I couldn’t see how ill I was.

I need to make it clear that anorexia is not a choice, a fad, or a diet; it’s an extremely serious and dangerous illness, which is nearly always caused by significant trauma in childhood, as was the case with me.

More rituals developed, and the weight loss continued. I’m not going to go on to describe all those habits and routines because I DO NOT want this to read like an ‘instruction manual’ for anorexia. Suffice it to say; I ended up in the local psychiatric hospital on the eating disorders ward at a very dangerously thin weight of five and a half stone! I was confined to bed and only allowed to use the bathroom with a staff member present. It was so embarrassing.

My first meal there was presented to me two hours after I’d arrived. It was, to my horror, vegetable curry and rice followed by bread-and-butter pudding and two scoops of ice cream. It wasn’t a small portion, either. I don’t think I’d ever felt that sense of panic before. A nurse sat with me and insisted I ate every stone-cold mouthful. I cried, I sobbed, and I begged, all to no avail. I was made to eat all that food despite having terrible pain in my stomach. It seemed barbaric to me. It took me nearly three hours to force the food down. Other than that, they threatened to tube-feed me, and with my phobia of choking, I couldn’t bear the thought of that.

The eating disorders ward had strict rules. Everything was done on a reward and punishment basis. To begin with, I wasn’t allowed phone calls or visitors, not even my family, and I wasn’t allowed out of my room. Weeks passed, and as I gained weight, albeit reluctantly, I was ‘rewarded’ with a phone call to my daughter, then my son and my Mum. They were all worried sick about me and dreadfully upset that I was going through all of this at the same time, realising I was very ill and needed help. There was no way of ‘cheating,’ although some of the people there tried. We would have lost a reward if we lost weight, which was impossible with every mouthful being supervised. It was such a thoroughly miserable time. At the time, I thought it was tortuous; it certainly felt like it.

However, there are only three ways out of anorexia in my mind. One is to get better despite it being painfully hard work (but well worth it); the other is that you spend your life battling with your illness for, possibly, the rest of your years (and believe me, that’s pretty awful), or you die!! It’s as simple as that!

I began to make good progress and started to feel better physically. I was allowed to eat in the dining room with the other inpatients on our ward; I could go to activities and learn about the basic psychology of eating disorders. We were taught about CBT therapy and offered other forms of treatment once our minds had started to recover from the starvation. We were basically given another chance at life, and I was grateful for that.

Finally, after being in hospital for six whole months, I was allowed day leave, and then weekend leave etc. Eventually, I was allowed home but had to attend the day hospital every day.

I don’t think you are ever really ‘cured’ from an eating disorder, but for me, it’s like being in remission, and I never take my life or health for granted. Anorexia is an addiction as well as an illness. Like any addiction, you have to consider yourself in permanent recovery. Now, at the age of 65, I’m making the most of my time and intend to live the rest of my life without harming myself in this way. I’m happy in my life with two adult children and four gorgeous grandchildren. If anyone is reading this and recognises themselves in what I have written, please, please, seek help.


UK HELP: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

US HELP: https://www.helpguide.org/home-pages/eating-disorders.htm

AU HELP: https://au.reachout.com/articles/support-services-for-eating-disorders

(Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash)

Russian Roulette

There’s nothing clever or even vaguely intelligent about this poem. I wrote it on the spur of the moment. It’s not one of my better pieces, but it expresses how I feel, as does all my poetry. This isn’t a ‘work of art’ by any stretch of the imagination. It’s merely a ditty …

I realise my blog posts
have been sad and sombre of late
I know it’s been hard to bear with me
I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling great

My doctor has given me tablets
Both Valium and Zopiclone
The latter should help me sleep
Plus a crisis number to phone

I’m trying to appear cheerful
but I doubt that I’m kidding you
I’m painting a broad smile on my face
but you can’t see that’s what I do

My poetry is brutally honest
Every word, every space, every line
Perhaps, if I painted landscapes
the results would be more sublime

My dear friends, I want to thank you
for sticking close to my side
And also, I’m eternally grateful
for mopping each tear that I’ve cried

So, I beg for a little more time
And please don’t desert me yet
I’ve really got so much to live for
though I’m playing Russian roulette

A message here to each one of you
from my tender and delicate heart
I’m doing my best, so please hold my hand
I don’t want to blow us all apart.




Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay