Do you remember the early days when you were really a mess? You caused your friends and family an awful lot of distress
You never thought at that difficult time you could grow and make a change You were far too ill to see it, then Psychotic and very deranged
You’re now no longer the child that died You’ve rid yourself of the pain You’re now a responsible adult Cut free from shackles and chains
You’ve now begun to make peace with yourself Don’t have all that pain inside You pulled yourself up by your bootlaces and new guidelines you’ve applied
You know life won’t always be easy We all have our trouble, our strife So make the most of every day Because you only get one life
Now here you are in your sixties and you still have a future ahead Leave behind those constant regrets Live your life to the fullest instead.
She got up early and painted her face to cover the shame and her falling from grace She dyed her hair ginger and put blue on her eyes She thought she’d catch all her friends by surprise
She smacked on red lips and looked into the glass Outside the window, she watched people pass Nobody noticed this sad tired stranger Nor that she was in imminent danger
She pulled on her face and forced out a smile and held the expression for quite a while She easily feigned joy; could have earned first prize for kidding them all with her perfect disguise
Exhausted and weary, she started yawning and time slipped by, ‘though it was still morning She pulled down her hat to cover her frown No one would know her, dressed up as a clown
She’d tried so hard but things were so tough She decided that enough was enough What a sham, what a game; she picked up the knife Could she pluck up the courage to take her own life?
There’s nothing clever or even vaguely intelligent about this poem. I wrote it on the spur of the moment. It’s not one of my better pieces, but it expresses how I feel, as does all my poetry. This isn’t a ‘work of art’ by any stretch of the imagination. It’s merely a ditty …
I realise my blog posts have been sad and sombre of late I know it’s been hard to bear with me I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling great
My doctor has given me tablets Both Valium and Zopiclone The latter should help me sleep Plus a crisis number to phone
I’m trying to appear cheerful but I doubt that I’m kidding you I’m painting a broad smile on my face but you can’t see that’s what I do
My poetry is brutally honest Every word, every space, every line Perhaps, if I painted landscapes the results would be more sublime
My dear friends, I want to thank you for sticking close to my side And also, I’m eternally grateful for mopping each tear that I’ve cried
So, I beg for a little more time And please don’t desert me yet I’ve really got so much to live for though I’m playing Russian roulette
A message here to each one of you from my tender and delicate heart I’m doing my best, so please hold my hand I don’t want to blow us all apart.
As a UK citizen, the death of our Queen came as quite a shock yesterday afternoon. Naïve, perhaps, given her age. I should have expected it, but somehow, because it was only three days ago, when she was pictured smiling whilst greeting and welcoming our new Prime Minister, Liz Truss, I was, for a while, lulled into a false sense of security. I’m not a fan of Liz Truss at all, but I didn’t envy her having to come up with a speech within two hours of the Queen’s death.
I’m not a staunch royalist, but I have a lot of respect for the royal family despite all the difficulties various family members have encountered over recent years. After all, they may be royals, but underneath the surface, they are just human beings and as fallible as the rest of us.
I have never known another King or Queen to be on the throne; it’s going to take some getting used to saying King Charles; I keep going to say Prince Charles. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels the same.
Some of you may know (and perhaps, disapprove; not that I need approval), but I’m a member of Extinction Rebellion (XR), as I’m passionate about taking action against climate change and getting our government to act like it’s the emergency that it is. However, I’m not going into a political debate here. There was due to be an XR festival in London this weekend. I was going to go, which would have been a real challenge as it meant a journey to Hyde Park via one overground train, one underground train and two buses – all in my wheelchair, Alfie. I was determined to take part, though. Obviously, under the sad circumstances, it would not have been respectful for this to continue to take place; apart from which, Hyde Park is one of the royal parks, so that deemed it even more inappropriate. Of course, rebels were disappointed as an awful lot of work had gone into the planning and organising the event. I’m sure it will be rescheduled for a later date.
Anyhow, that’s all I wanted to say. I very much feel for the royal family in their grief as the UK enters a period of mourning. Naturally, not everyone feels the same; some people on a local neighbourhood website have been downright disrespectful. Is that really necessary, I ask myself? No, I think not. If they don’t have anything kind to say, then I believe, under the circumstances, they should keep quiet. Why is it necessary to be so rude, albeit everyone is entitled to their opinions? So, now the UK has entered a new era. I wonder what changes will be made now that Charles is King.
My deepest condolences and respect to the royal family. RIP Queen Elizabeth II.
I’m going to let you into a little secret. Some of my ‘older’ readers will know this already, especially given that I have young grandchildren. However, to some of my newer readers, this might come as a surprise. Having just had my birthday, I’m now officially ‘over the hill,’ according to the polls! I feel most indignant about that statement as I’m now 65, not 95 (nothing against the 95 years olds amongst us, nor people older than that). According to the polls, the age categories run like this …
18 to 24 25 to 34 35 to 44 45 to 54 55 to 64 65 and over
So … where are you supposed to go after you reach 65. Apparently, there is nowhere to go other than obviously being officially over the hill and, no doubt, going down the other side. Does this mean that the pollsters consider the only fitting thing for me, being ’65 and over’, is to shuffle off this mortal coil! I object!
Having got that little bugbear off my chest, I will continue on a happier note – my birthday, last Saturday, 3rd September. I had the most wonderful week. To begin with, last Thursday, I spent the day with nine family members, my daughter and son-in-law, my son, four young grandchildren, my sister and brother-in-law, who’d travelled up from Dorset, plus my friend, who’d been kind enough to take me to see them all. It was a perfect day, sunny and warm; not too hot like we’d had in the summer. September is nearly always a lovely month in the UK. We walked into the restaurant and big hugs were shared between us; some of my family I hadn’t seen for over two years, so I was thrilled to bits to see them all again. I felt so loved and very blessed to have such wonderful people around me.
The food arrived, which we’d pre-ordered. I’d asked for Pad Thai, one of my favourite meals. It was delicious, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. We then ordered pudding, although I don’t know where I found the room after the lunch, but I did, as did everyone else. More deliciousness. After eating, we took the children to the local park to run off their energy (and dinner). It was so lovely to see the four cousins all together. It was such a special way to celebrate my birthday.
Delicious Pad Thai
Last Saturday, my actual birthday, I met my best friend in town, and we went for another meal in an Italian restaurant. My friend, Debbie, presented me with a beautiful birthday card and an even more beautiful gift. I was so touched by the thought she had put into choosing something so special. We are both vegans, and having eaten our main course, a pasta dish, we plumped for pudding (again!). The dessert was amazing – a rich chocolate cake with honeycomb pieces called Zillionaire’s Slice with vegan sorbet with chocolate ripples. I could feel my waistline expanding after all the food I’d had. My diet was nowhere to be seen, but I wasn’t in the least bit bothered – there’s always another day for that.
Zillionaire’s Slice
So … all in all, perhaps, being 65 isn’t too bad. I’ve got absolutely no intention of shuffling off anywhere, least of all, off this mortal coil. I’m having too much fun.
You may think me rather sombre as I write my feelings out I concur they’re somewhat dark, as well you’ll know Do you understand my pain, and why I try to hide my face? My shame lives on from very long ago
I started this year well, without a tale to tell the world But then I started digging, as you will all have read Was that the wisest move, or should I put it all behind me? But then I’d have to keep it in my head
My heart and soul are burdened; can I bury thoughts again? Should I bid them on their way to pastures new? Friends are standing by me and for that, I bless my soul Do I really want to lose that loving view?
Oh, I’ve had my share of joys and bliss; an awful lot of fun Along my endless travels, and on the brightest roads So, why the saddest face and the hesitance to smile? When I’m longing now to lose these heavy loads
I attempt to write my heart out; as it gives me real relief Will you bear with me some more, while I search for peace? Don’t give up or look away, as I’ll get there in the end I’m so near the point of getting some release
I’m grateful, one and all, for your love and such kind words They’re much appreciated, as I wend and find my way The sun’s begun to shine and the sky’s a vivid blue As I look forward to a better, brighter day.
Live today facing forward—with your back on yesterday, your eyes on tomorrow, and your head and heart in the moment.”
Summer is well and truly here in England. The temperature got up to 28 degrees in the shade today (probably hotter in other areas), and it’s set to be even warmer over the next week or two. I’ve never liked being out in the hot sun in the past, but, for some reason, I’m enjoying it this year. I’m not out in it for too long unless I’ve covered myself with factor 50 suncream though.
This afternoon, I walked back home from my church through the park and along the river. I just took in all the beauty of our nature, the bright blue sky with hardly a cloud in it; the green leaves on the trees there and the vast assortment of plants and beautiful flowers growing everywhere. As I walked across the park, I spotted a small group of geese (I think the term is a gaggle of geese). I snapped a photo even though they were a bit distant (below). You can see how dry the grass is – it’s almost yellow – we need a good downpour (preferably when everyone is in bed).
I watched the water splashing down the weir and flowing into the river, and the ducks bobbing up and down searching for food. Nearby, there were a couple of robins and collared doves pecking for insects in the ground for their lunch.
It wasn’t so long ago, I spotted a male and female swan with their cygnets (below). There were eight of them and recently, I saw them in the distance with seven babies. It was lovely to know that so many had survived as, being so little, they get attacked easily by bigger creatures.
As you know, I don’t usually share photos, but I thought I’d make an exception as I’m enjoying the summer so much this year. Nature is quite stunning, and I’m really struck by its beauty. However, when I got home, I went into the kitchen, and there sitting in the corner of the room, underneath the worktop was the most enormous spider! I’m not a fan! We eyed each other up – he was all hair and long black legs – ugh. [So, what happened to the beauty of nature, I ask?]. It’s not that I hate them; I’d just rather them not be inside my house. As there was no-one there to safely dispatch it to the garden and I couldn’t reach him, I tried staring him out – he won! And I ran (well, wheeled) into the living room. When I went back out later, he’d gone. Where!? I’m worried now … will I have a long-legged ‘friend’ accompanying me to bed tonight?
Essentially Ellie 