My Therapy – The End and The Beginning

As some of you will know, I had my last therapy session with my therapist, Chris, this afternoon. I’m not going to say it wasn’t tough because it was. We talked about what progress I’d made, even when I felt I wasn’t making any. We spoke about my poetry and whether I was going to continue writing. I am, naturally. I NEED to write – it’s the breath from my soul, and I would be lost and speechless without it. After I got home, admittedly in floods of tears, I wrote this poem to clear my mind and express my thoughts.

I’m thinking of taking a short break – not from writing, but, just for a while, from trying to keep up with all the blogs I follow (and that’s a lot) because I need some headspace to take stock of what I’m feeling, what I need and where I want to go from here. I will still be here and will, at least, try to read some blogs when I’m able to. I hope you will all understand.

Thank you so much to each of you who have been beside me and supported me through such a difficult few months. I’m eternally grateful. I’ll be back before too long.

With my love, Ellie Xx 💗🤍💗

~~~

My last session left me feeling distraught
I’m not being brave like I know I ought
Just before leaving, I asked for a hug
The answer was no, and I felt like a mug

She did, momentarily, hold my hand
Just briefly, though, as hugging was banned
I thought that this was so very kind
It calmed my heart and soothed my mind

I duly filled out the last questionnaire
To see, on the whole, how well I’d faired
I could see my progress, and more than a bit
I was somewhat surprised; I have to admit

Now, I have to wait for quite some time
I’ve got an awful long way to climb
I won’t be with Chris, but someone new
I hope I can bond with that person, too

She said it’ll be months before I’m seen
I’m wondering what I can do in between
I’m trying to find some way to cope
without completely losing all hope

I owe it to Chris, and I owe it to me
Not to turn this day into a tragedy
I hope I’ll be able to continue to write
It helps me to battle, and it helps me fight

I’m debating whether to take time out
To let myself fully get over this bout
I want to write, but less time to read
Right now, I have to do what I need.

“The last time always seems sad, but it isn’t really. The end of one thing is only the beginning of another.”

― Laura Ingalls Wilder, These Happy Golden Years

(Photo by Rowan Freeman on Unsplash)




Sorry – Out of Order for a While

I’m very sorry to all of my friends and readers here on WP if I worried you with this morning’s post and poem I published earlier today. I just wanted to reassure you that, after a very tough day, I’m okay. Well, not okay, but having to be, really. The last couple of days have been incredibly stressful, with various people (friends and family) needing a lot of support from me. On top of all my own issues currently, it all felt like far too much to be able to cope with.

I’ve been fortunate to have my best friend with me for most of today, and I have spoken to my doctor who said she will call me again on Monday to see how I’m doing.

I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be taking a few days out from my blog. I want to concentrate on my writing when I can, but probably won’t be reading or commenting on as many blogs as I usually do. I love reading other bloggers’ work, but at the moment, it’s all too much and I’ve got to focus on doing the things that will give me some respite.

Thank you for my friends who have left me kind comments and advice today and for emails from a couple of you, which I will reply to when I have time. I appreciate your care more than you can know.

My son, Tom, and the two little ones are coming to stay from tomorrow afternoon to Sunday lunchtime. Although it’s the last thing I feel I can cope with right now, I’m sure it will do me good, especially being with the children. Perhaps, it was meant to be that they’re coming to stay again, as it means I’ll have to take time out to be with them rather than putting myself under pressure to keep up with my blog and social media in general.

I wish you all a peaceful and enjoyable weekend and once again, thank you so much for being here for me as always. It’s very much appreciated.

With much love, always,
Ellie Xxxx 💜💙💜