Drowning in anguish sucked the life out of me I expressed my personal agony for all to see I was travelling through the days full of tragedy Not getting where I really wanted to be
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Each day spending far too long in bed Fighting off the unwanted thoughts in my head Often wishing to be numb, sometimes dead Now, I’m wanting to live life again instead
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I want to be rid of the despair, anger and hate Let them go, leave them standing at the garden gate There was far too much pain sitting on my plate Now is the time to cleanse, release and recreate
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I’ve written my life story in excruciating rhyme Feeling all the misery like joy was the crime Feeling deep sorrow for losing so much time Please hold my hand while I begin the long climb
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Life was pretty tough when it all went wrong I’ve been sitting on the bottom rung for far too long Forgot to tell myself that I’m still brave and strong Now, I’m wanting to sing a brand-new song
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Not saying it’s going to be easy but I’ll try Not saying I won’t be sad because I might still cry Not saying it’s the end as I don’t want to die Not saying I won’t need you, so please stand by.
I was scrolling through some videos on YouTube this evening and came across this one (below). It’s called ‘Fight Song’ by Rachel Platten. I found the lyrics very uplifting, so I thought I’d share them here. I especially love the lines – “Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep; Everybody’s worried about me; In too deep, say I’m in too deep (In too deep); And it’s been two years, I miss my home, But there’s a fire burning in my bones; Still believe; Yeah, I still believe.”
I know you are all aware of what a difficult and painful journey I’m on currently, and I’m not saying I’m over it all yet (I wish it were that easy), but this song gave me hope, which meant a lot to me. I can’t say that I won’t need to share any more of my emotionally raw poetry as that is also cathartic, but for tonight, I’ll hang on tightly to these words; perhaps, they will give me some new strength. I hope so.
Please, take the time to listen to this beautiful song; read the lyrics and do let me know what you think of them. With my heartfelt thanks … Love to you all … Ellie 🦢 Xxx 💖💛💝
Like a small boat On the ocean Sending big waves Into motion Like how a single word Can make a heart open I might only have one match But I can make an explosion
And all those things I didn’t say Wrecking balls inside my brain I will scream them loud tonight Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song Take back my life song Prove I’m alright song My power’s turned on Starting right now I’ll be strong I’ll play my fight song And I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep Everybody’s worried about me In too deep Say I’m in too deep (in too deep) And it’s been two years I miss my home But there’s a fire burning in my bones Still believe Yeah, I still believe
And all those things I didn’t say Wrecking balls inside my brain I will scream them loud tonight Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song Take back my life song Prove I’m alright song My power’s turned on Starting right now I’ll be strong I’ll play my fight song And I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
A lot of fight left in me
Like a small boat On the ocean Sending big waves Into motion Like how a single word Can make a heart open I might only have one match But I can make an explosion
This is my fight song Take back my life song Prove I’m alright song My power’s turned on Starting right now I’ll be strong (I’ll be strong) I’ll play my fight song And I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
Nine years ago, I shared this video, ‘Brave’ by Sara Bareilles, because the words meant a lot to me. I also like the somewhat amusing performance that goes with the lyrics. Now, I find myself experiencing those same feelings. I have expressed these feelings in my recent poems.
I think this song might appeal to any of my readers who could be experiencing similar feelings, either now or in their past. If you can take the time to listen to it and really listen to the words (lyrics below), it will give you an understanding of how difficult it is to be brave and to write your heart out in your work and show your vulnerability, pain and courage. This is what I do. This is the only way I know how to be, how to express myself in my writing and work in my present counselling, which I wrote about in my last post, Dissociative Healing. I hope you enjoy this song – It means a lot to me.
Brave – Sara Bareilles
You can be amazing You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug You can be the outcast Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love Or you can start speaking up Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do When they settle ‘neath your skin Kept on the inside and no sunlight Sometimes a shadow wins But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say And let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I wanna see you be brave
Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down By the enemy Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing Bow down to the mighty But don’t run, stop holding your tongue Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live Maybe one of these days you can let the light in Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say And let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
Innocence, your history of silence Won’t do you any good Did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty Why don’t you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say And let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you See you be brave
I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you I just wanna see you I just wanna see you
Thank you for reading, listening and for your interest – Much love – Ellie x 💖