THE ART OF HUGGING

cute monkeys hugging

Hugging – have you seriously thought about hugging? It has multiple benefits, and we should all be doing more of it. If we were, half the wars and battles wouldn’t be taking place, and thank the Lord that no-one has invented an anti-hugging vaccination. Hugs are much more life-preserving and also far more pleasant than coming down with a nasty case of chickenpox or the flu.

Did you know that you need at least one hug a day for reassurance, two a day for survival, four for maintenance and eight for growth? This fact would explain why I am reasonably ‘happy little bunny’ still breathing, in reasonable ‘nick’ but only two-feet-and-eight-inches tall.

If anyone would like to contribute to another few inches of height, I wouldn’t object or turn you away.

Hugging is environmentally friendly and ecologically sound. It builds self-esteem and also builds strong arm and shoulder muscles both of which are far less costly than building another new block of apartments and therefore, is economically viable.

It slows down aging which probably means I’ll feel like I’m ninety-seven before I reach sixty given that I live alone and don’t have a handy partner or nearby children.

However, I do hug the odd friend, (as I tend to prefer my friends to be a little on the peculiar side, like myself rather than conventionally rational).

I have to confess that I have a rather unusual habit in that I have been, on the odd occasion, known to approach and embrace a complete stranger. Hugging in those circumstances is sometimes okay, especially when it is to offer comfort or solace.

However, there are times such as when it’s with the bus driver en route or a waiter with a full tray of tea and scones which are not a wise idea. Also, cuddling up with the airplane pilot of a Jumbo Jet in mid-flight, or offering an embrace with Her Majesty, The Queen in the middle of giving her Christmas speech, etc., it can be seen as somewhat inappropriate.

Hugging also releases the feel-good hormone, oxytocin that is nature’s anti-depressant, so if they were readily available, we would have a lot more warm and happy people about and a lot less diazepam/valium needed.

A first rate hug ideally needs to have two elements, a hugger, and a huggee, preferably willing participants and not someone like ‘The Incredible Hulk’ squeezing the life out of a reluctant Miniature Chihuahua. Likewise, a hug needs to be shared between two beings, or more if near to hand as clutching thin air is no better than attempting to embrace a boa-constrictor.

At this point, I should say that I am offering free demonstrations. In addition, all contributions to myself will be gratefully received as I am saving up for my Blue-Peter badge.

healing hugs

 

THE BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY.

I write, not to impress others, not to make an impact, not to gain ‘Likes’ or ‘Stats’ but to express my deepest feelings when I have no other way of expressing them other than to self-sabotage in some way which I’m trying hard not to do (although not always succeeding).

I am hurting, hurting very much because I am being deprived of contact with my grandchildren, all three of them and one on the way. I saw this picture and it made me think that perhaps when I’m dead and gone, they will think of me as the brightest star in the sky shining down on them. On the other hand, they may not think of me at all, if ever…I just don’t know but then I guess none of us do.

stars1

In the meantime, I will love; I will love with all my heart and with everything I have got and wrap it up in pretty parcels for each one of you, my little missing ones. A hug will, of course, accompany each parcel. I will wait; I will wait for a long time; I will wait forever; I will always be waiting my darlings.

waiting

I long for my daughter or my son to pick the phone up one day and for me to hear the words “How are you, Mum?” But it’s not likely to happen. In the eight years since my first grandchild was born, it has never happened and I know it’s never likely to. Some say I am a pessimist. I say I am a realist with maybe a touch of pessimism which I think is fair and just, given the circumstances.

Oh, how I long to take you in my arms, my little ones, and hold you, hug you, tell you how much I love you; how much I’ve always loved you; how much I miss you being in my life; how much I miss being in your lives. I dream I will be invited to your sports’ day, your school play where you maybe play the sheep in the nativity play, a school concert to watch you play recorder, trying so hard to get the notes right. I dream of having your paintings and drawings adorn my kitchen cupboard doors and all over the freezer, to find bits of your Lego down the side of my sofa, to find a felt tip pen rolled under the table; anything to remind me of you.

I live in hope. I hope in vain. I hurt. I really hurt as salty tears roll down my face. They say that tears are nature’s way of healing…..If that were so, I would have healed the world by now.

SUSHILA – MY LATE FRIEND

I feel i want to express a short tribute to my dear friend, Sushila, who we sadly lost this week. This is with express permission of her family.

 

Sushila was 42 and lived in the UK, some way from me but we spoke on the phone often and met up when we could. She was a very compassionate Social Worker, working with disabled young adults and she loved her work. She never married, nor had children – i think she put everything she had emotionally, into her work. However, she did have a lovely, big softy of a dog called Tizzy. (Her family obviously don’t want me to publish Sushila’s photo but here is a photo of Tizzy when she was a pup). She is so cute and much loved by all and is now being looked after and re-homed with friends close to where she lived.

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Most of her family lived in Rajasthan, India and were Hindus, as was she and Hindus believe that after you die, you are reincarnated according to how you behaved in your previous life (as in the following excerpt):

‘There is one thing that is certain in this lifetime: eventually we all must die. A belief in the cyclical reincarnation of the soul is one of the foundations of the Hindu religion. Death is viewed as a natural aspect of life, and there are numerous epic tales, sacred scriptures, and vedic guidance that describe the reason for death’s existence, the rituals that should be performed surrounding it, and the many possible destinations of the soul after departure from its earthly existence. While the ultimate goal is to transcend the need to return to life on earth, all Hindus believe they will be reborn into a future that is based primarily on their past thoughts and actions’.

 

Sushila was travelling back from visiting friends in Leeds when she was involved in a fatal road accident. She was travelling alone and both cars involved were a write-off. The police and ambulance crew said she was killed outright and wouldn’t have suffered which i thank God for. The other driver and passenger are in hospital, one in critical condition, the other, stable.

 

Her family are obviously devastated and a service will be held for her in the UK in two weeks time, after which, her body (that term makes it sound so impersonal), will be flown back to her family in Rajasthan for a traditional Hindu funeral. I will be unable to attend that service but will be going to the service here in two weeks time. I miss her so much already and can’t yet believe that she is no longer with us. They say ‘time is a great healer’ but that is of no comfort right now.

 

Sushila’s name actually means ‘a good charactered woman’…..how apt, how fitting, how appropriate for someone who devoted their short life to caring for others less fortunate than herself.

 

SUSHILA, MY DEAR FRIEND….REST IN PEACE XXX.

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BROKEN GIRL

This is a Youtube video i came across while searching for something else. It caught my eye immediately as i could identify with the title….I feel like that broken girl because of all the abuse i’ve been through and know many of my followers may also see this through the same eyes as myself.

 

When you watch it, you may initially think that it is a religious take on this subject, but please don’t let that deter you because for ‘God/Jesus’ or any faith you could ‘read’, therapist, counsellor, loving partner, closest friend or family member (obviously not anyone involved in your abuse) or even yourself when it comes to the subject of healing. Healing can, in addition, come from within you.

 

When i watched it, the images (not graphic) really touched my heart and i cried and cried, watching this, because it was ME and when you watch it, you may find that it is YOU too.

 

I’m going to keep this blog short because i think the video says it all (or at least a great deal of it). Although this clip refers to a broken girl, it could equally apply to a broken boy (the images may not depict a boy but if you are an abused male, please don’t let this deter you.

 

This is the video:

http://youtu.be/9sojGsivMok

 

I am sending out love and hugs with this to anyone who’s in need of such, Ellie xoxox