I never remember my dreams, but last night, I woke up at 2.30am in a state of panic and fear. I’d had a nightmare, only this time, I remembered it vividly. I have no idea where it came from; I hadn’t been talking to anyone about my experience, and it wasn’t in my mind yesterday. I’m left wondering why I would remember this now. As I wrote this, I was shaking, recalling every detail as if it were yesterday. These are my memories of that time.
I remember when I was five.
and only very small
I got measles and constant nosebleeds
and had to go into hospital
It was called ‘The German Hospital’
It treated contagious infections
I was scared and wanted my teddy bear
At five, I needed affection
But it turned out to be a prison
and I was shut up all day in a cot
and when Mummy and Daddy left me there
I was only a little tot
Hardly anyone came to see me
I was in total isolation
Even the nurses who came every few hours
just gave me nasty medication
I couldn’t get out of the cot
though I’d stand there and call and cried
Surrounded by four solid walls
and trapped in there, inside
And I added my own tooth marks
to those that were there before
on the cot rail, in utter despair
hoping someone would walk through the door
Not another child did I see
the whole time I was in there
Mummy and Daddy didn’t visit much
and nobody seemed to care
Not even an ounce of kindness
did I get in that awful place
and I stood for hours, rocking my cot
with tears streaming down my face.
Essentially Ellie 