The Gabapentin Blues (A Poem)

I’m so drowsy from these pills, even on this sunny day
I’m in far too much pain for me to come out to play
I’m doped up to the eyeballs on this awful medication
My attention span is shocking, as is my concentration

It’s affecting my memory, and I can’t grasp my words
My eyesight is blurry, and my speech is all slurred
I’m feeling very shaky, and it’s difficult to write
I can type very slowly, but it takes me half the night

I hate being on these drugs, as they slow down my mind
I’m taking Gabapentin and Co-codamol combined
Thinking is an effort, but it’s harder still to read
I’m sorry for my absence; I have to take the time I need

I wish I could read your blogs; I miss them all so much
We’ve not chatted for ages, and I feel so out of touch
I’ve been typing night and day, and I still have so much pain
I long to be back blogging with my friends once again

I don’t know how I’m writing when I feel so very drunk
Years ago, I gave up weed; it’s also known as skunk
Although I’m twelve years sober, I feel like I’m on the booze
It’s not that at all; I’ve got the *Gabapentin blues.

~~~

*Gabapentin is a powerful painkiller often used to treat nerve pain. It’s also known as Neurontin. I’m taking it to treat the severe nerve pain in my mouth, chin, lip and jaw following a [botched] tooth extraction, where the nerve was badly damaged.

~~~

P.S. I started writing this yesterday evening, and I finally finished it this morning at 10.45am. I had a real job staying awake to enable me to publish the post. I know I didn’t have to write anything on my blog, but although I haven’t been reading many of your blogs, I feel a strong need to write. It’s my only way of coping with what I’m going through right now.


(Image by Freepik)

Oh, Not Another One (A Poem)

Oh, not another poem about her being in the wars!
Can’t she change the subject and get on with her chores?
Is it so essential to talk about her pain?
Could we have another tale before we go insane?

So, let’s talk about the weather; it’s beautiful outside
But what about the dentist and the damage he’s denied
She doesn’t like that surgeon; her doctor’s on the case
The whole *kit and caboodle is an absolute disgrace

But think about the summer with a lovely cool breeze
Look out of the window at the flowers and the trees
Now, she’s got some pills that should offer some relief
Yet, here she is going on about her blooming teeth!

Four days on these pills, and she sleeps, and she shakes
It’s difficult to concentrate; she thinks she needs a break
She wants to carry on her writing; it’s something she enjoys
But she’s drowning in the water, so we need to throw a buoy

So here she is, producing work; will she never rest?
Though everyone on WordPress makes her feel quite blessed
There is a lot of gratitude within this heart and soul
She knows that pushing on will really take its toll

So how about a holiday; where would you like to be?
Ooh, yes, she says,
delighted, and chose Southend-on-Sea
We could paddle in the water.  But the sea is full of shit!
Aww, can’t we dip our toes in just a tiny weeny bit?


*kit and boodle
(Collins Dictionary)

Informal (often prec. by whole)
The whole lot of persons or things; all of something


Image by wirestock on Freepik







Do You Need An Ambulance!? (A Poem)

I called 111 for assistance (a helpline within the UK)
I needed advice about the pain I’d been having every day
They asked me lots of questions to see how I was feeling
I told them it was time that I really should be healing

I told them about the tablets that made me feel all funny
I mentioned that my dentist had charged me lots of money
They asked about my general health and how I felt today
Do you need an ambulance? I replied with a firm “No way”

Had I had a heart attack, or perhaps, I’d had a stroke
?
I was puzzled by these questions, but they seemed well-meaning folk
Did I feel a heavy weight sitting on my chest?
I began to doubt myself and started feeling stressed

I confirmed it was those pills that made me feel unwell
My head was very dizzy, like I’d been on a carousel
Had I had an accident within the past few days?
Had I had a migraine with brightly shining rays?

Was my speech quite slurry; my mouth dropped on one side?

I said yes, but it was nerve damage the dentist had denied
I think you need an ambulance; I firmly refused once more
No, I really don’t, and yes, I’m certain, that’s for sure

I thanked them very kindly and said that I had to go
But you might need an ambulance. I really don’t, you know
I thanked them once again; I shouldn’t have a moan
And with that, I stopped abruptly and hung up on the phone.





Image source – Pexels

Commotion (A Poem)

(I’ve written about my teeth till I’m ‘blue in the face.’
I think my tooth extraction was a bit of a disgrace
I’ve been in so much pain, but they don’t know why
The doctor gave me morphine, so now I’m rather high)



I think I’ll change the subject; I’m finding this a bore
I’ll shut those tedious thoughts out and open a new door
I’ll pick up my new book and turn page after page
I can concentrate much better; now I’m not so full of rage

So, let us wander elsewhere; my muse is very willing
No more talk of teeth and pain, extractions and fillings
I’m sitting at my laptop as I search for something fresh
The screen’s gone blank, as the page has just refreshed!

I don’t want more laptop trouble; I’ve had enough of that
Now, Peanut’s on the keyboard; that blooming nuisance cat!
How’s a girl to think with this commotion going on?
Now the doorbell’s ringing; oh, damn, it’s neighbour, John!

Will I ever get this poem written and finished to the end?
All of these distractions are driving me ‘round the bend
The cat’s now sleeping peacefully, dreaming in her bed
Oh, now she’s woken up again, demanding to be fed

There is no peace for me today to write and concentrate
Now, here comes the postman, walking through my gate
I’m hoping for a letter, but he says, no, they’re all bills
Pass the morphine, will you, I need a few more pills.



Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Too Many Peas (A Poem)

Here I am in pain from a badly infected gum
The nerves have been damaged, and my chin is all numb
I’ve been to the dentist and paid substantial fees
And all I can eat is custard and mashed peas

They think I may have Osteonecrosis of the Jaw
My mouth is so painful, and the bone is very sore
It hurts when I cough and hurts more when I sneeze
And all I can eat is custard and mashed peas

Necrosis means death to my very fragile bone
I may need an operation, as my X-rays have shown
I’m pretty terrified and have wobbly, knocking knees
And all I can eat is custard and mashed peas

Will surgery be needed? My mind is full of fear
My heart’s thumping loudly, and I’m gulping down the air
I wish I could eat, as I’m missing bread and cheese
And all I can eat is custard and mashed peas

I wish I’d never set foot inside the dentist’s door
I didn’t expect this trouble; that’s for sure
I’ve been using an ice pack to help the pain to ease
And all I can eat is custard and mashed peas

I’ve never had pain like it, not even giving birth
It’s cost me a fortune – I’ve not had my money’s worth
I’m in so much agony; can you make it go, please
Because all I can eat is custard and mashed peas.

Photo by Engin Akyurt: https://www.pexels.com


Agony (A Poem)

(I wrote this poem last night when I couldn’t sleep, but I was too exhausted to post it then).

I went to the dentist today and had a tooth pulled out
Six injections and three stitches later, I didn’t holler or shout
The tooth was awkward and stubborn, so a difficult extraction
The dentist pushed and pulled it hard to try and get some action

My best friend came with me this morning, so I could hold her hand
I squeezed it tight till her fingers turned blue; I knew she’d understand
The gum has not stopped bleeding, and the stitches are very sore
I think I’ll take some Panadol and some more at half past four

I drove back to my house, pale and weary, just as it started to rain
Just what I didn’t need when I was in so much awful pain
I’d left in a rush this morning, forgetting to pack my mac
I’d got halfway there when I realised; it was far too late to turn back

I feel completely exhausted from so much trauma and pain
I do my best to look after my teeth; I don’t want all this again
I messaged my son and said that I can’t have the children tonight
My face is bruised and swollen, and I look a shocking sight

The teeth I have left are in a bad way with lots of amalgam fillings
They’ve cost me an absolute fortune, and I don’t want any more drilling.
Lots of saltwater rinses tomorrow, and nothing to eat till later
The absent tooth has left a hole; it’s almost the size of a crater

I’ve wondered in the past, whether I should have false teeth
They’d have to dig out the decay that is hiding away underneath
“I wish I’d looked after me teeth”, said Pam Ayres in one of her rhymes
That was long, long ago, perhaps, decades, back in the olden times.

(Pam Ayres – “Oh I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth” – 2 minutes 16 seconds)

Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik

Blowing A Gasket (A Nonsense Poem)

BLOWING A GASKET*

I woke up bright and early as the sun rose in the sky
to find my laptop 💻 failing, so I called my techie guy
I was all in a dither; I’m addicted to this thing
I could have read a book, but I have no discipline

My techie guy was busy, so he couldn’t come around
An end to this disaster just wasn’t being found
I sat here all frustrated and did not know what to do
I racked my brains, and then, my blooming gasket* blew 🤯

Oh, what a mess it made, spread out across the floor
It seeped into the carpet and crept underneath the door
The cat 🐈 slipped on the lino and banged her dainty head
I ran out to the kitchen to make sure she wasn’t dead

I watched it trickle down the walls and onto my bed 🛏
Where would it go to next? My heart was full of dread
It soaked into the duvet, and the pillowcase got wet
This was such a rare occurrence; one I’d never forget

I was beginning to despair; I began to give up hope
I really didn’t know how long I’d be able to cope
I must try something else, but I did not know quite what
The gasket had leaked everywhere, and I’d lost the plot 🥴

My desperation spread, forming puddles in my brain
I got a cloth and wiped the yuck off my window pane
I urgently needed a real expert on the job
My techie guy rang later, and I cried and I sobbed 😢

Just half an hour later, he turned up and rang the bell
By this time, I really wasn’t feeling very well 🤢
He spent more than an hour here but couldn’t fix the issue
I sobbed again and asked if he’d pass me a clean tissue

He left just after that; I knew I had to sort it out
But I had tried, and I tried, and was now so full of doubt 😬
I grabbed my carpet cleaner, a mop and a bucket
But all to no avail, so I gave up and said, “Oh f— it!!”

*Gasket – To blow a gasket means to get angry or enraged. I used the term here to describe how I visualised that anger and despair spreading everywhere.

AN EXPLANATION

This morning, my computer completely crashed. I tried everything I could think of to remedy the situation, although I am no way an expert, so didn’t really know what I was doing. I phoned my son, who said to do a system restore, which I did. Nothing happened! A big fat nothing! I tried that again but still no luck. I blew a *gasket!

I had so much to do today – coursework, blog reading and some financial workings out, and here we are already at nearly 7pm, and I have done nothing. Finally, I phoned my neighbour, and luckily, her son said I can borrow his spare laptop for a couple days (bless him). My techie guy said he’ll come back in the week to have another look at my computer. Patience is a virtue, but it’s something I don’t have right now. So, that’s given me the chance to write this post. Above is a poem I wrote this afternoon to pass the time. It’s a nonsense poem that crept into my head while trying to think of solutions.

I’ve now typed it into my blog to explain that I’ve lost ALL my tabs, every single one. I had lots of blogs open, ready to try and catch up with. I’ve got no way to trace them, and although I have a few notifications in my email, I feel awful that I’ve missed so many that I wanted to read. Honestly, I could cry 😭.

(Image by cookie_studio on Freepik)

Pulling Together


We’ve been busy with the planet, as you might just know
Our minds have been preoccupied; it might well show
We’ve been up to London, protesting for our right
To have a healthy future of which, we mustn’t lose sight  

We’ve stood up to the government and fought for Mother Earth
We’ve spoken our minds, and we’ve had our pennyworth
This is an emergency; our PM doesn’t care
While fossil fuel pollution permeates our air

Our battle isn’t over; we won’t give up the fight
We’ll shout, drum and protest to emphasise our plight
Politicians fill their pockets and won’t listen to the facts
They don’t hear the pleas of scientists, who say we need to act

We all need to pull together; every single soul
Give power to the people, and no more digging coal
Stop drilling in the oceans and pulling up the oil
Stop killing all our wildlife and poisoning our soil

The butterflies and insects are dying out so fast
Our fish are full of plastics, and the damage will last
We’re chopping down our trees; the forests getting bare
There are many people starving because the rich won’t share

The bees are getting rarer; they’ll be no more pollination
The crops will all fail; what of the next generation?
We must stand up for them; we don’t want them to die
The human race must listen, or its plans will go awry.

With thanks to all my wonderful, caring rebel-friends in Extinction Rebellion, who made this amazing protest possible and inspired me to write this poem. Love you all. Xx 💚💚💚










Losing The Plot (A Nonsense Poem)

I fear that I have lost the plot
My poetry is not that hot
Writing all day; what a swot
My brain is riddled, full of rot

My confidence has turned to fear
I sense the tension in the air
Do I have words with which to share?
Regarding this, I am unclear

Where did my talent go last night?
I’ve tried all day to make things right
My absent words fill me with fright
There seems to be no hope in sight

I’m overcome with lethargy
My brain is risking atrophy
This is a total tragedy
My shame is here for all to see

Another thing I ought to mention
Is that I cannot pay attention
This, despite my best intention
My muse is full of apprehension

I’ve lost my skills, I can’t pretend
Confided in my one best friend
Apologised and made amends
And this is where my sad tale ends.
 


Image by cookie_studio on Freepik

Concentration (A Poem)

Having had my grandchildren, I’m now so behind
I’m still very tired, and my strength I cannot find
I’m struggling to find words; my concentration wrecked
though it was worth every minute in retrospect

I’m trying hard to read and even more so to write
every minute of the day and well into the night
I’m rather exhausted with so much in my head
but still, I greet my friends with my arms outstretched

My writing is my passion, and I don’t want to stop
Another hobby I don’t need, so I don’t wish to swap
I fell in love with words and rhyme many years ago
but I am just an amateur, so I go with the flow

I’m somewhat absent-minded; I need to pay attention
I tread very carefully and write with apprehension
I’m so grateful to my readers; you mean so much to me
You fill me up with courage and dismiss my apathy

Occasionally, I am lacking, and I can’t seem to share
Sometimes I get stuck, and I’m pulling out my hair
But with such good friends both far away and near
I have so much gratitude, and I’m full of good cheer.



Image by prostooleh on Freepik