I’m so drowsy from these pills, even on this sunny day
I’m in far too much pain for me to come out to play
I’m doped up to the eyeballs on this awful medication
My attention span is shocking, as is my concentration
It’s affecting my memory, and I can’t grasp my words
My eyesight is blurry, and my speech is all slurred
I’m feeling very shaky, and it’s difficult to write
I can type very slowly, but it takes me half the night
I hate being on these drugs, as they slow down my mind
I’m taking Gabapentin and Co-codamol combined
Thinking is an effort, but it’s harder still to read
I’m sorry for my absence; I have to take the time I need
I wish I could read your blogs; I miss them all so much
We’ve not chatted for ages, and I feel so out of touch
I’ve been typing night and day, and I still have so much pain
I long to be back blogging with my friends once again
I don’t know how I’m writing when I feel so very drunk
Years ago, I gave up weed; it’s also known as skunk
Although I’m twelve years sober, I feel like I’m on the booze
It’s not that at all; I’ve got the *Gabapentin blues.
*Gabapentin is a powerful painkiller often used to treat nerve pain. It’s also known as Neurontin. I’m taking it to treat the severe nerve pain in my mouth, chin, lip and jaw following a [botched] tooth extraction, where the nerve was badly damaged.
P.S. I started writing this yesterday evening, and I finally finished it this morning at 10.45am. I had a real job staying awake to enable me to publish the post. I know I didn’t have to write anything on my blog, but although I haven’t been reading many of your blogs, I feel a strong need to write. It’s my only way of coping with what I’m going through right now.
(Image by Freepik)
I called 111 for assistance (a helpline within the UK)
I needed advice about the pain I’d been having every day
They asked me lots of questions to see how I was feeling
I told them it was time that I really should be healing
I told them about the tablets that made me feel all funny
I mentioned that my dentist had charged me lots of money
They asked about my general health and how I felt today
Do you need an ambulance? I replied with a firm “No way”
Had I had a heart attack, or perhaps, I’d had a stroke?
I was puzzled by these questions, but they seemed well-meaning folk
Did I feel a heavy weight sitting on my chest?
I began to doubt myself and started feeling stressed
I confirmed it was those pills that made me feel unwell
My head was very dizzy, like I’d been on a carousel
Had I had an accident within the past few days?
Had I had a migraine with brightly shining rays?
Was my speech quite slurry; my mouth dropped on one side?
I said yes, but it was nerve damage the dentist had denied
I think you need an ambulance; I firmly refused once more
No, I really don’t, and yes, I’m certain, that’s for sure
I thanked them very kindly and said that I had to go
But you might need an ambulance. I really don’t, you know
I thanked them once again; I shouldn’t have a moan
And with that, I stopped abruptly and hung up on the phone.
Image source – Pexels
(I’ve written about my teeth till I’m ‘blue in the face.’
I think my tooth extraction was a bit of a disgrace
I’ve been in so much pain, but they don’t know why
The doctor gave me morphine, so now I’m rather high)
I think I’ll change the subject; I’m finding this a bore
I’ll shut those tedious thoughts out and open a new door
I’ll pick up my new book and turn page after page
I can concentrate much better; now I’m not so full of rage
So, let us wander elsewhere; my muse is very willing
No more talk of teeth and pain, extractions and fillings
I’m sitting at my laptop as I search for something fresh
The screen’s gone blank, as the page has just refreshed!
I don’t want more laptop trouble; I’ve had enough of that
Now, Peanut’s on the keyboard; that blooming nuisance cat!
How’s a girl to think with this commotion going on?
Now the doorbell’s ringing; oh, damn, it’s neighbour, John!
Will I ever get this poem written and finished to the end?
All of these distractions are driving me ‘round the bend
The cat’s now sleeping peacefully, dreaming in her bed
Oh, now she’s woken up again, demanding to be fed
There is no peace for me today to write and concentrate
Now, here comes the postman, walking through my gate
I’m hoping for a letter, but he says, no, they’re all bills
Pass the morphine, will you, I need a few more pills.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
There’s nothing clever or even vaguely intelligent about this poem. I wrote it on the spur of the moment. It’s not one of my better pieces, but it expresses how I feel, as does all my poetry. This isn’t a ‘work of art’ by any stretch of the imagination. It’s merely a ditty …
I realise my blog posts
have been sad and sombre of late
I know it’s been hard to bear with me
I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling great
My doctor has given me tablets
Both Valium and Zopiclone
The latter should help me sleep
Plus a crisis number to phone
I’m trying to appear cheerful
but I doubt that I’m kidding you
I’m painting a broad smile on my face
but you can’t see that’s what I do
My poetry is brutally honest
Every word, every space, every line
Perhaps, if I painted landscapes
the results would be more sublime
My dear friends, I want to thank you
for sticking close to my side
And also, I’m eternally grateful
for mopping each tear that I’ve cried
So, I beg for a little more time
And please don’t desert me yet
I’ve really got so much to live for
though I’m playing Russian roulette
A message here to each one of you
from my tender and delicate heart
I’m doing my best, so please hold my hand
I don’t want to blow us all apart.
Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay