Blowing A Gasket (A Nonsense Poem)

BLOWING A GASKET*

I woke up bright and early as the sun rose in the sky
to find my laptop 💻 failing, so I called my techie guy
I was all in a dither; I’m addicted to this thing
I could have read a book, but I have no discipline

My techie guy was busy, so he couldn’t come around
An end to this disaster just wasn’t being found
I sat here all frustrated and did not know what to do
I racked my brains, and then, my blooming gasket* blew 🤯

Oh, what a mess it made, spread out across the floor
It seeped into the carpet and crept underneath the door
The cat 🐈 slipped on the lino and banged her dainty head
I ran out to the kitchen to make sure she wasn’t dead

I watched it trickle down the walls and onto my bed 🛏
Where would it go to next? My heart was full of dread
It soaked into the duvet, and the pillowcase got wet
This was such a rare occurrence; one I’d never forget

I was beginning to despair; I began to give up hope
I really didn’t know how long I’d be able to cope
I must try something else, but I did not know quite what
The gasket had leaked everywhere, and I’d lost the plot 🥴

My desperation spread, forming puddles in my brain
I got a cloth and wiped the yuck off my window pane
I urgently needed a real expert on the job
My techie guy rang later, and I cried and I sobbed 😢

Just half an hour later, he turned up and rang the bell
By this time, I really wasn’t feeling very well 🤢
He spent more than an hour here but couldn’t fix the issue
I sobbed again and asked if he’d pass me a clean tissue

He left just after that; I knew I had to sort it out
But I had tried, and I tried, and was now so full of doubt 😬
I grabbed my carpet cleaner, a mop and a bucket
But all to no avail, so I gave up and said, “Oh f— it!!”

*Gasket – To blow a gasket means to get angry or enraged. I used the term here to describe how I visualised that anger and despair spreading everywhere.

AN EXPLANATION

This morning, my computer completely crashed. I tried everything I could think of to remedy the situation, although I am no way an expert, so didn’t really know what I was doing. I phoned my son, who said to do a system restore, which I did. Nothing happened! A big fat nothing! I tried that again but still no luck. I blew a *gasket!

I had so much to do today – coursework, blog reading and some financial workings out, and here we are already at nearly 7pm, and I have done nothing. Finally, I phoned my neighbour, and luckily, her son said I can borrow his spare laptop for a couple days (bless him). My techie guy said he’ll come back in the week to have another look at my computer. Patience is a virtue, but it’s something I don’t have right now. So, that’s given me the chance to write this post. Above is a poem I wrote this afternoon to pass the time. It’s a nonsense poem that crept into my head while trying to think of solutions.

I’ve now typed it into my blog to explain that I’ve lost ALL my tabs, every single one. I had lots of blogs open, ready to try and catch up with. I’ve got no way to trace them, and although I have a few notifications in my email, I feel awful that I’ve missed so many that I wanted to read. Honestly, I could cry 😭.

(Image by cookie_studio on Freepik)

MY INTERNET ADDICTION

I’ve come to the awful realisation that my life revolves around my internet addiction. I’m ashamed to say that it’s now a need rather than a want and it’s become more than an interest or even a necessity to enable me to function adequately. I’m mortified that when I have guests, sometimes I can’t wait for them to leave or I finish a phone call to a friend prematurely so that I can feed my addiction and that’s just awful and plainly unacceptable.

When I first wake in the morning, I should be thinking about getting out of bed before my Carer arrives to help me get showered and dressed, and perhaps, thinking about whether to have Cornflakes or muesli for my breakfast. Instead of that, my first thought is that I’ve got to get up because I need to go and check my email accounts and log into my Facebook page and if I can’t justify that then I’ll check my Amazon order to see whether it’s going to be delivered today or tomorrow. Better still, I could take a look at my bank account details hoping I will find the balance is black rather than red.

I bring up my WordPress blog and sit, staring at the screen. I’m racking my brains for a topic to write my next post about yet my mind is completely blank, so I find myself casually wandering off to my Twitter account (not that I’ve quite got the grasp of how Twitter works yet). I come back to my blog because I want to read my fellow blogger’s latest posts. But, I often fail at that too because of the incessant need to get my next fix of scrolling across the screen or tapping on the keys.

Just lately, I haven’t been feeling too great (I’m getting over a persistent viral infection) and have spent far too much time online, wandering from page to page, so much so that my right index finger is sore and aching from clicking my mouse and scrolling up and down the page. How sad is that?

In the evening, after my Carer has left and I’ve had my tea and got my pyjamas on, I ought to be thinking about going to bed. I tell myself that I’ll just spend five more minutes surfing the net. But, I don’t do that – it turns into ten minutes and then fifteen and before I know it, an hour has passed. I start nodding off – my forehead nearly hitting the keyboard.

I’ve really got to go to bed as I have to be up early in the morning. Why do I have to get up so early the next morning? Not because I need to let the cat out or I really should make that international phone call. I don’t have those excuses – I don’t have a cat and the time difference between my friend and me means she will still be asleep in bed. No – I need to get up that early because my addiction to the internet means I have to connect to my laptop and start the whole damn process again.

 

 

 

 

HOW TO SURVIVE A POWER CUT IN THE AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA

facebook, twitter & pinterest logos

We had a power cut today – only for an hour and a half, but apart from getting cold because the central heating had gone off (bearing in mind it was only 1-degree Celsius outside), I found the greatest inconvenience was not being able to get on the internet. I instantly felt lost and out of touch with the world without it, and given the choice between having my access to the web or having the heating back; I think I would have willingly pulled on an extra layer or two and opted for my laptop.

This incident reminded me of a time, three or so years ago when we experienced a violent storm that brought down the power lines, consequentially blowing up the local electricity substation. Fortunately, the weather wasn’t quite as cold as it was today. But, amazingly, (in this day and age), we had no power for nearly three days! Extra jumpers, thick socks, wooly hats, warm gloves, blankets and such were all dug out of the depths of wardrobes and were the order of the day (or three days in this instance).

I live in a cul-de-sac and all the houses there were affected. After the initial panic, the ritual of striking matches smelling of sulphur, to light the candles took place.  A variety of wax pillars were found with difficulty, bearing in mind, we were searching at the back of dusty cupboards by torchlight. I then thought to Google the Electricity Company’s telephone number to ask when the power would be back on. I won’t say ‘a light went on in my head’ as there weren’t any lights but it then dawned on me that no electricity equals no technology, therefore, no Google. There we were, back in the dark ages (pardon the pun) and I started to rummage for the telephone directory, not realising then that the phone lines were down too.

It was then apparent that social media had come to an abrupt halt which was a shock to the system at first. Gradually Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr all became redundant. If we wanted some company, instead of Facebook, we had to go and knock on a neighbour’s door and talk to them face to face. The term ‘Like’ meant the appreciation of a kindness done or fondness of someone. ‘Friending’ and ‘Unfriending’ became hanging out with our mates (or not). If someone had ‘Blocked’ you, they had, perhaps, parked their car at the bottom of your driveway, and the term ‘Sharing’ no longer referred to reposting an article from one FB page to another; sharing returned to meaning to have a cup of tea with a neighbour; lending your last box of matches out; distributing a pot of tea around the family, made from boiling water on a gas hob (at least, we had gas), .

Twitter had been replaced by the chatter of children and adults alike and gossip that was only heard on the grapevine. Instagram and Pinterest were impossible – if we wanted to look at pictures we had a resort to a book, magazine or get a bus to the art gallery on the far side of town. I missed emailing. Somehow, writing a letter, sticking a stamp on the envelope to post it in the mailbox and then waiting two days for it to arrive at its destination lacked the spontaneity of reeling off a quick email.

Computer games were naturally out of the question and we resorted to either playing Gin Rummy or Bridge with a pack of cards or digging out the old, well-worn Snakes and Ladders board and a dice. In my case, I managed to find the family Ludo board which was my mother’s before it was mine! But, I never was much good at card games but I could play a mean game of Monopoly. Just as I’d passed Mayfair and Park Lane and was about to collect £200 for passing go … the power came back on only to be greeted by a mixture of delighted “hoorays” and equally rather sad “awws”. All the nostalgia flew out of the window almost as fast as we all flew off back to our own little spaces to get a fix of Facebook or Twitter having suffered severe withdrawal symptoms over the past three days. I have to say, it left me wondering whether I would turn back the hands of time if I could.

reading by candlelight

 

TECHNOLOGY MELTDOWN

Dear Friends,

I’m declaring war on technology for at least this weekend! Or rather, it’s declaring war on me….

HP_SpectreXT

My lovely new, trusted friend, my HP Ultrabook, has died and gone to the HP hospital in the hope they can resuscitate it! I am currently typing on an old dinosaur of a computer that is too heavy for me to lift and the keys are difficult for me to press down so I’m not going to battle with it any longer.

Old-laptop-006

So, this is just a brief ‘au revoir’ post to say I apologize if I don’t ‘Like’, ‘Comment’ or even read your blogs, for a short while, my friends. It’s nothing personal so please don’t take it as such. I won’t even be able to get email notification that you have posted any so sorry too if I miss anyone out either during or on my return from my technology vacation. My Tablet doesn’t work; I don’t possess an iPhone and my trusty old Nokia mobile phone only has text and phone facilities on it! Yes, it is old.

So, I’m taking a break. The TV is going off. The music playing on the CD, stopped. No daily news. Just quiet.

And in the silence, to which I am very unaccustomed, I am just going to enjoy the peace and spend my time catching up on half-read books and starting new ones and spending time with the Lord.

open bible

So bless you all and I will see you all on my return.

Hugs, Ellie xxx 🙂

WHY BLOG AT ALL?

Why blog? Why do we blog? What are we trying to achieve? Who do we want to be heard by? Why?

All of us here in our WordPress world, blog, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this. But why do we do it? Why do we need our voice to be heard by potentially thousands of others, if not more, most of whom hardly know us or don’t know us at all. and yet, here we all are, on our own little laptops, iphones, whatever; in our own little offices/livingrooms/bedrooms/public space etc, etc. And most of us have no idea where in the world the person who hides themselves behind an avatar, lives. I daresay, we’re splattered all over this globe of ours! And who are we? Many of us choose to remain anonymous voices using the added phrase, ” names and places have been changed to protect the identities of others” (or of ourselves).

Image

What do we want to achieve by blogging? Many of us, including myself blog because they want ‘to get something off their chest’, air our opinion or have a good rant about something that is bugging us. Or maybe we are budding authors practicing our writing skills out on the public. Some of us blog competitively, to see how many followers we can trail behind us and have accompanying us on our journey. Others like to watch the ‘stats’ go up and gain great satisfaction if they can get more ‘hits’ than their neighbour. Many of us like to get ‘comments’ or at least some feedback for our efforts!

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Is blogging addictive? I know I find my blogging is. I look forward to the evening when I can settle down to try and think things through, decide (out of the million ideas whizzing around my brain), which to write about, decide whether i feel like being ‘artistic’ and add images to my blog in the hope of making it more appealing to the eye and to the reader.

Then comes spelling! Fortunately, most of us have the added bonus of spellcheck (without which, many mistakes would go unnoticed,( in my case, at least). Next comes grammar and punctuation! Personally, I know mine is far from perfect despite having achieved an A Level in English Language (although I was a dead loss at literature). I think I use commas and semicolons far too freely, and liberally scatter them all over my page,;,;,;,;,;,;,;!

My main problem is not wanting to stop once I get started! Many a night I have gone without sufficient sleep in order to complete my blog to my satisfaction. But then, I am never satisfied with what I have written; never thinking it worthwhile, of any interest to anybody else etc, etc. But then I have to stop and think that I am doing this for myself, not for the benefit of others but who am I kidding?!

As for tonight, I must stop gabbling on; add my title (which I always do last) and my tags. Now my finger hovers cautiously over that little blue button, knowing with one click my blog goes out there, out into the universe for one and all to see. Dare I? Do I? Shall I not, and trash the whole thing. Well, here goes anyway.Look out world, here I come!!………….