It’s been a while since I posted (again). I’m finding it more and more challenging to keep up with my blog, and to read my fellow WordPress friend’s blogs too. I’ve been writing here for almost five years now and have published no less than 344 posts. I checked this fact and was quite amazed that I’d been able to write so much.
When I first started writing it was all about my mental health and my history of abuse. I don’t need to go there anymore (thank goodness), and I thankfully, don’t live in that world now either.
I’ve moved on a long, long way since then. I’m busy – a never stop kind of busy which is fine by me. I’m finally enjoying my life and doing so many things that I enjoy and that are enriching my life; expanding my thoughts and opinions; bringing peace to my soul and joy to my heart. I am fortunate enough to be able to listen to music that I like and read books that interest me. I’m finally happy.
I’m still volunteering at the university, and I’m continuing my studies. I’m going to the gym regularly, and I see significant progress in my mobility. I’m able to walk a few steps unaided now, only indoors as it’s not safe for me to walk outdoors without support because my bones are so fragile that if I fell on the concrete, I’d possibly permanently damage myself. The last thing I need is to have to go back with my progress, so I’m ultra-ultra careful.
This is all leading up to the fact that I may have to bow out of the world of WordPress. I’ve tried (and managed for a short while) to write more regularly, but seem to always fail abysmally. I often burn the midnight oil, and I am in fact burning the candle at both ends. As it is, I’m writing this at three o’clock in the morning! Not good as I’ll regret not going to bed when I see the breaking of the sun.
I still so enjoy my writing, but somehow, it doesn’t seem right to pour my thoughts out on paper (or rather, on my laptop) and expect others to be interested when I cannot reciprocate this. And so, I’m seriously thinking of bowing out. Any constructive comments, views, and advice very welcome. Thank you, friends, Ellie x
Essentially Ellie 
Hello Ellie!
I am so glad to hear that you are busy doing so many things that you actually enjoy and are life enriching. 💜
I’d say keep doing what you are doing!
Also, about WordPress. Don’t overthink. And even if you don’t find the time to read other people’s blog for some time, it is okay. You don’t need to feel that kind of pressure. That is not the point of WordPress. Since you’ve written so many posts I believe writing for you is a way to express yourself, like it is for so many of us here. So you keep writing and posting your blogs here whenever you find the time.
Your posts are honest and beautiful.
💗
I had my exams going on so I logged in to WordPress after a fortnight today and was glad to find your post on my wall. So, please keep writing whenever you find the time to.
Have a wonderful day! 🌻
Dear Ashwini,
You are so kind and generous with your comments. I appreciate that very much. Thank you <3.
You are right – when I do write my blog, it's very therapeutic and is one of the ways I find to express myself and try to be creative all at the same time.
I guess you're right about WordPress; although I'm such a sensitive person that I get hung up on whether people 'like' what I write, or whether I'm 'good enough' etc. Although my self-esteem is much improved from how it felt not so long ago, it's still not fantastic (I expect many people feel the same though).
How did your exams go? What did you take and do you know when you'll get your results?
I hope this week has treated you kindly and continues to do so.
Love Ellie x ❤
Hi Ellie!
First of all, I am really sorry for the late reply. I’ve been off WordPress for months.
Honestly right now I am at a place where I don’t know if I should start writing again. I want to but I am not sure how. I will figure out though. 🙂
I will read your blogs to find some motivation.
About the exams, the results came in January. I passed. I now have two M.A. degrees, one in Linguistics and another in English literature.
How have you been? I’ve missed reading your posts.
Much Love
Ashwini 💗
Hi Ashwini,
Thank you so much for reading my posts even though I haven’t written nearly six months! As you will noticed from my last couple of posts, I have been incredibly busy. I keep meaning to write a post about everything I’m doing and am involved in now, but I never seem to get the time (or sometimes, if I’m honest, the willpower!).
You too, say you’re not sure whether to continue to write your blog – please, take it easy on yourself – there is no hurry or pressure. It’s fine to take a break, whatever the reason, and come back if/when you feel like it or are able to. I’m sorry I’ve missed so much of your blog up until you wrote your last post. I truly hope that you are well. As far your exam results, that’s fantastic! You did so well 🙂 Congratulations! I’m so pleased for you ❤ For now, take care of yourself and I promise I'll try and write another post as soon as I get a chance.
Sending you lots of love,
Ellie xxx ❤
Thank You for the kind words Ellie! ❤
And thank you for your advice on writing. I will keep that in mind.
(:
I hope you are having a good time and even though a little busy I hope the work makes you happy. So all the best to you!
Lots of love,
Ashwini 💗
P.S. – I am sure at some point you will be back on WordPress posting blogs just like old times. Till then, take care of yourself and do what makes you happy. 😊
First of all, I don’t think you’re obligated to comment on or even read other people’s blogs just because you are blogging. True, if you want your blog to grow you have to do that, but if you just want to write, go ahead and do that. But if you want to take a break from blogging, please know that is okay, too. It sounds as if you are very busy right now and blogging has become a burden. Maybe just jot down ideas for posts as they come to you, and wait until you really want to blog again to write them? I don’t know what would work best for you, but my only advise would be to follow your heart…..
Thank you, Ann. I appreciate your comments. I think you’re probably right … although I’m not finding my blog a burden as such, I just can’t seem to find time to write very often. Perhaps, I should (at least for the time being) forget or put on the back burner the idea of building my blog and concentrate on writing when I feel the need or desire to. I think my heart is telling me to take a break and concentrate on some of the things I love, but don’t have time for, like reading, listening to classical music, keeping up with friends and watching educational videos. Having said all that, I feel another post coming, but it will have to wait for now 🙂
Hi Ellie. Good advice from Ann and Ashwini (of course!). Don’t put yourself under any pressure. If you leave a week or a month or three months between posts and then come back when you feel you’ve something you want to post, that’s fine. And there’s no pressure to visit or comment on others. I think the pressure we feel to comment on other blogs is partly a fear that if we don’t, then they won’t visit ours or we feel we’re somehow cheating by doing so. Well, it ain’t so. Your blog will be here when you feel like posting, and ours will be here when you feel like visiting, and we’ll all look forward to seeing you again.
In the meantime, it’s great that tour life seems back on track and you feel you no longer need to blog as a kind or therapy. If it means you’re in a good place and happy, then we’ll miss you but we’ll be happy knowing you’re well. take care, Mick X
Hi Mick,
I’m having a problem replying to your comment. I’ve just typed a fairly long reply, but WordPress won’t let me post it. So, I apologise and hope this comment gets to you to explain. I’ve tried logging out and logging back in, so let’s see if this works! If it does, I’ll try and reply properly again. Watch this space! Ellie x
Hi Mick.
Well, that comment posted ok just now. WordPress does this to me occasionally and I’ve no idea why! Anyway, as I was saying previously, thank you very much for your kind comments. On reflection, I’m going to stay with WordPress and my blog. I enjoy writing, and also, it feels good to express my thoughts and views here without the need to do this as a form of therapy. I am much happier these days (it’s been a long time coming and is now very welcome to stay). I’m busy trying to find and buy Christmas presents for my friends and family as we all are at the moment, but I do plan to write again soon. Take care, Mick.
Ellie xx
Hi Ellie. I came across to your blog to see whether you had written anything new I might have missed and was surprised to find your replies – I didn’t get notifications from WordPress for some unknown reason (and I now wonder if it has happened with others?)
So my apologies for not replying, but I’m delighted to read you that you are going to stay with the blog. I hope your Christmas went well, and that you had a good time over the holiday period.
Mick xx
Hi Mick. I just popped in very briefly and found your message written on the 27th. I realise I haven’t written since the end of November, so that’s over two months now! I am intending to write when I get a spare second as I’ve really found my niche in something called Sunday Assembly. You can Google it if you’re interested. That’s what my next post will be about. Now, all I have to do is to stop running the bit that I’m involved in long enough to write something! Hope to do that soon. Thanks for taking the time to keep in touch, Mick. It’s much appreciated, Ellie xx
It looks interesting – a focus on being a support network, by the look of it, so I’ll look forward to reading your post about it. Sounds as though you’re busy!
It’s very interesting, Mick. It’s more about building supportive communities. Our motto is ‘Live Better, Help Often, Wonder More’ which says it all really. More of that to come in my next post. I’m reading some of your poetry posts at the moment. They’re really good x
Thanks, Ellie. Good to hear things are going well for you. x
I don’t see your picture in your About section or anywhere else on this blog. If you wish to stay anonymous, that’s perfectly alright too. But still, out of curiosity I’d love to ask your reasons for being anonymous.
Hello Amir, Sorry I’ve taken a while to get back to you. Please could you tell me whether you see any image at all on my blog, or do you see a black and white image of a woman with long hair? Either way, I don’t use a proper photo of myself as I do like to keep my blog anonymous. This is because I used to write, several years ago, about some very personal issues and didn’t want my family or friends in the non-blogging world to be upset by some of the experiences I’ve been through. I’m happy sharing my world with my blogging friends but prefer not to be identified by my image. Does that make sense to you? I’m very open to any more questions you may have as everything I’ve ever written about has been about my genuine world and real-life. Thanks very much for your interest. Hope you are well and I wish you a happy New Year, Ellie 🙂
Hiiiiii Ellie ☺️ so happy to hear from you Thanks for sharing your reasons to be anonymous. I have a different take on the same subject. Anyone who can’t accept or respect my opinion about them the way I do, don’t deserve to stay in the circle of my friends or family. Hence I choose to be real and not anonymous. Belated merry Christmas and happy holidays 🎉
Don’t bow out! We’ve only just met 😉
Haha! Thanks. I did bow out for three years after that but recently decided to pick up my blog again, although with a different tack. I’m glad I did.
I’m glad you did, too 🙂
Thank you so much, PeNdantry.